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(Spoiler extended) Every reference and allusion to A Dance With Dragons on NotABlog before completion.
The only thing I can conclude from this thread is that, if TWOW does not get published soon, some of us will go mad.
Modesty Lannister, 25/3/2015 Some time ago I wrote a post recollecting Every reference and allusion to the Winds of Winter on NotABlog. I was inspired to write this post because George had just provided a juicy update on The Winds of Winter (the last one to date), and many people were reminded of that pre-ADWD period, the few (not-so-few actually) months before the publication date for ADWD was announced, during which GRRM updated his fans on his work very often. So here is a list of every allusion, hidden or plain reference to A Dance With Dragons GRRM's ever made on his Not a Blog before he announced completion: Keep in mind that this is only the references he made IN HIS POSTS. I am aware he gave other information on the book in comments, interviews, but I'm not taking these into account. ((And yeah if anyone wants a list of every reference to ADWD on NaB EVER, they're welcome to compile it themselves, but I doubt anyone's mad enough.)) So here we go : 2006 " I have a big chunk of a new Dunk & Egg novella that I should be able to finish with a good solid week of work... and then I've got some dragons waiting for a dance. We'll see how all that goes. " - year's end - 3/1/2006 "While our roof is being torn off in Santa Fe, I plan to be off walking the Wall with Jon Snow, or visiting Dany and her dragons in Meereen. Or so I hope...." - back from the north - 21/1/2006 " So another NFL season is now done, which means that Sunday becomes a work day for me once again. That should please everyone waiting for A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. " - Super Bowl XL - 5/2/2006 "(And no, I am NOT going to forget about A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. That's still my number one priority, and will remain so until it's done)." - Remember the Hugo - 7/3/2006 Pretty substantial update on ADWD. George talks about his current work on some Jon chapters especially - this, that, and the other thing - 28/3/2006 " Oh, and I suppose you want to know how the DANCE is coming? Work continues. I finished the revisions on the Jon Snow chapters that I was talking about last month, and moved on to Tyrion for a while, but just now I am working on a new viewpoint character, and a chapter set in steamy harbor of Old Volantis. Where I shall be returning, first thing tomorrow." George is working on the Merchant's Man, Quentyn Martell's first chapter in Dance. - Home Alone - 13/5/2006 "Meanwhile, for those who do read this page... yes, I am still working on A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, and yes, I still hope to deliver it this fall, or by the end of the year at the latest. " Ouch... - Belated Update - 30/5/2006 " I'm home again and it is time to get going on the novel once more. I have less than a month until worldcon, and I would like to get a big chunk of DANCE done before I take off for Anaheim. " - San Diego - 26/7/2006 "This will no doubt upset all those readers who want me to stay home and write, write, write, but it looks as though I will be taking to the road again in the fall. " - On the Road Again - 9/8/2006 GRRM on why last month was a generally bad month for writing - Off to Worldcon - 17/8/2006 " I have half a dozen different projects on my plate, but the big one is A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, and I am going to be pushing hard on that in the weeks and months to come, in hopes of wrapping it up by the end of the year. " Ouch... - Home for the Holidays - 17/10/2006 " Right now I'm trying to finish A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, [...] " - PayPal Thinks I'm a Terrorist - 5/11/2006 George did not, in fact, finish Dance before the end of the year. - Good News and Bad News - 5/12/2006 " When A FEAST FOR CROWS came out, I realized that something close to half the book had already been out there in one form or another [...] I am not going to do that with DANCE. - Wild Cards Returns! - 11/12/2006 2007 " Lest anyone have a heart attack, let me hasten to add that this [computer crash] has NOT affected A DANCE WITH DRAGONS or any of my other work-in-progress. " - Gleep - 5/1/2007 George had a very productive day on ADWD and explains his writing routine in days such as this one - a good day's dancing - 21/4/2007 "Unfortunately, the last two days have been less productive, at least for DANCE." - this and that and t'other thing - 27/4/2007 George will be doing a reading from ADWD on Second Life come thursday. - My Second Life - 29/5/2007 Update on ADWD, and GRRM contemplates cancelling an appearance at worldcon in Japan in order to be able to finish the book. - The Only Living Boy in New York - 25/6/2007 "I'm working on DANCE, as I've reported, but I have other projects too, and that's going to continue to be true for a long, long time." - a new deal for WILD CARDS - 28/6/2007 George reads the prologue of ADWD at InConjunction in Indianapolis, and shares the writing process of this particular chapter. - Back from Indianapolis - 11/7/2007 After a revision, the prologue is now one page shorter but much stronger - Busy Week - 17/7/2007 " I am, however, getting bloody sick of all the off-topic comments, and the trolls who use any LJ post of mine, regardless of subject, as another excuse to slam me about DANCE being late. " - Ice & Fire Miniatures - 13/8/2007 "Yes, yes, I'm still working on A DANCE WITH DRAGONS." - A Dance With Dragons - 29/8/2007 " Yeah, yeah, I know. I made the logical, adult, sensible decision, and stayed home to work on A DANCE WITH DRAGONS and my myriad other projects. " - Missing Worldcon - 1/9/2007 " DANCE WITH DRAGONS? Yes, working on that too. Lately it's been Tyrion and more Tyrion. When I finish these three chapters, I will need to double back and pick up some of the other POVs lest my devious dwarf get too far ahead. " - Highs and Lows - 22/10/2007 " And when I read the prologue of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS [at WFC], I liked it a lot better than the earlier version I read at a couple cons last summer." - Home from WFC - 16/11/2007 " Finished a Tyrion chapter yesterday, one I've been struggling with for months. " + Update on recent progress concerning Tyrion's chapters in Dance - This, That, and t'Other Thing - 12/12/2007 New Year's post (ADWD wasn't announced in 2007 after all...) - Goodbye,2007 - 31/12/2007 2008 "I've sent a new sample chapter from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS and an update on the current status of the book to my webmaster.[...] (And no, the book's not done. Didn't I just say that in yesterday's post?) " - Updates Coming - 1/1/2008 " It's been a busy few weeks for DANCE. I have been working on a Dany chapter and a Bran chapter. (The Bran chapters remain incredibly hard to write, for what it's worth, and this one is no different). " - Another Month Rushes By - 27/1/2008 "... I am pleased to be able to announce that they have just signed up artist Marc Fishman to illustrate their deluxe limited edition of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. " - And Speaking of Subterranean - 5/3/2008 George finishes a Bran chapter he's been struggling with for six years (my guess would be Bran III in ADWD) - One More Chapter Done - 15/3/2008 " The issue [of Bantam's new promotional magazine, SpectraPULSE] will include a new, never-before-seen chapter from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS." - Comicon Giveaway - 17/3/2008 "If I can deliver the book before the end of June, you'll see these [new covers] in your favorite bookstore sometime this fall. If I can't, well... you'll still see them eventually, I hope." - Dance Gets Covered - 17/3/2008 " Of course, I need to finish A DANCE WITH DRAGONS before I leave, or else my publishers will hunt me down and kill me. " - Home Again - 13/4/2008 " One day at a time. One page at a time. One word at a time. June is coming up too fast." Sounds similar? - Better - 10/5/2008 "I am getting a lot done. Finished an Arya chapter yesterday, and a Sansa chapter the day before. [...] One chapter at a time, one page at a time, one sentence at a time. " General progress on ADWD, and here, George is probably writing the Alayne I chapter that was (much) later released as a sample for TWOW. He also goes on to explain that portions of the chapters he finished have been written years ago, so he hasn't been writing one chapter per day. - Home alone - 23/5/2008 "Meanwhile, I'm still here, still holding down the fort, working on DANCE, on Vance, on WARRIORS, on WILD CARDS." - Parris Off to Ireland - 9/6/2008 "This is the major event for fans of A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE. I will be talking about the series, reading a bit from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS [...]" - Coming to Portugal - 16/6/2008 "No, I didn't finish the novel, though not for want of trying. Nothing to be done about that but push on when I return." - Made It to Europe - 25/6/2008 "There's been far too much off-topic commentary of late, however. I am perfectly aware that A DANCE WITH DRAGONS is late. There's no need to remind me, thanks, I have plenty of editors and agents and publishers to do that." - A Gentle Reminder - 19/9/2008 "In view of what's happening right now, however, I find a need to say a word or three, even if it means taking a few hours off from DANCE WITH DRAGONS [...] " - Beneath Contempt - 9/10/2008 "Purchasers will also acquire the rights to buy the same number of Subterranean's limited edition of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, somewhere down the road." - Only 30 Copies Left - 11/10/2008 " (And no, they did NOT take my computers, so the hard drive where A DANCE WITH DRAGONS lives is still there, and safe, and I haven't lost any work. [...] )" Burglars break into George's office! - Monday Morning Blues - 27/10/2008 "Now all I need to do is wrap up WARRIORS and SUICIDE KINGS and... yes... A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, and maybe I'll be able to take a week off." - Vance Book Delivered - 8/12/2008 " Damn. If only I'd finished DANCE. I might be able to afford it [a spaceship miniature]." - Hey, Santa - 11/12/2008 2009 " Alas, this does not mean my back is monkeyless. Couple more still sitting up there, including King Kong, the dragon monkey. But you guys know about him." - One Monkey Off My Back - 17/2/2009 "No, it's not done. [...] I made a lot of progress on the book in the first half of 2008.[...] I am trying to finish the book by June. I think I can do that." ADWD update - A Dance With Dragons - 19/2/2009 GRRM addresses the people who hate his other projects and think he should only focus on Dance 24/7 instead of "wasting time" on other things like football. - To My Detractors - 19/2/2009 " I am still pounding my head against that bloody keyboard daily. Today it was in service of... ah, no, you're not supposed to know about that POV character yet." A general thank you to the overflow of support comments regarding George's previous post - Thanks - 20/2/2009 "(Oh, by the way, Marc Fishman is already hard at work on the artwork for the Subterranean limited edition of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. [...] )" - And Speaking of Limited Editions - 22/2/2009 "(I wasn't going to comment anymore about DANCE, deadlines, and lateness, but a friend sent me this link, and I couldn't resist. [...])" - I Know Just How You Feel, Pat - 26/2/2009 "Me, I'm going back to DANCE. Maybe I can even finish that bloody Tyrion chapter today..." - The Calendars Are Signed - 12/3/2009 "(It's snowing, too)." Not sure if this one counts, but as you'll see below, George has been known to use the "it's snowing" prhasing to mean that he's working hard on Dance. - Tax Time - 27/3/2009 "The days and weeks and months seem to go by so quickly now... and the pages come so slowly..." - Random Thoughts at Midnight - 28/3/2009 George has found a partner to finish the series after his death !!! - A Partner for the Dance - 1/4/2009 Just kidding, it's an April Fool's. - Well, Not Really - 2/4/2009 "Before anyone has a heart attack... I write with WordStar on a DOS computer that is completely separate from the Windows machine I use for email. It doesn't even have Windows, or any internet connection. So A DANCE WITH DRAGONS and my other work is safe." - George has a "computer catastrophe" - I Hate Computers - 15/4/2009 "Much improved these last two days. I've even been writing well." - feeling feisty - 17/5/2009 " Now if I can only slash through the Meereenese knot that I've been worrying at since 2005, I may actually start to get excited. " George has just had the most productive period on Dance in a long time. - Guarded Optimism - 22/6/2009 "Parris returns to Ireland, and I head home to the cats, the green chile, and A DANCE WITH DRAGONS." - Farewell to Finland - 15/7/2009 "I'm hoping to complete a few more chapters for DANCE before taking off. Still tugging, slashing, and cursing that Meereenese knot." - Home Again - 17/7/2009 "My reading is at 5pm tomorrow. Will probably read a chapter from DANCE, haven't decided which one yet." - Bubonicon - 27/8/2009 ADWD sorta-update - Dancing - 3/9/2009 "A DANCE WITH DRAGONS: I took a good hard swack at the Meereenese knot. The sword bounced off and cut my nose off. Bugger." This is probably a reference to Tyrion, meaning he's at this moment working on his last chapters in ADWD, or even his first in TWOW - Jots and Niggles - 9/9/2009 "Finishing the chapter felt good. Especially since it also completed that character's arc for the book. Admittedly, she has only two chapters in DANCE, so I am not sending up any flares." George is talking about either Cersei, or Arya in this post. - A Smidge of Progress - 11/9/2009 ADWD is now 1100 MS pages long, and longer than AGOT and AFFC. - Dance,Dance, Dance - 6/10/2009 " [...] I'll be reading a chapter from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. " - See You In Fargo - 14/10/2009 2010 "I meant to post yesterday on the weekend's games, but got busy writing instead, and finished a Tyrion chapter that I've been struggling with for six months. Nibbling away at that knot. We'll see if the finished chapter holds up to reread and polish today." - Adventures in 2010 - 5/1/2010 "(Yes, I know. King Kong is still perched up on my shoulders. He was a king in his world, but I'll teach him fear)." - Another Monkey Off My Back - 13/1/2010 "Snowing like hell in Santa Fe today. [...] The good news: finished a chapter today. The bad news: it's one I've finished at least four times before. This time, though, I think I finally got it right. We'll see. Still whacking at the Meereenese knot. [...] " - Dancing - 28/1/2010 " 'nuff said. " - A Good Day, With Snow - 29/1/2010 " Jeez, guys. Calm down. This is why I hate to do updates. I say I have good day, and immediately I have a hundred people deciding this means that DANCE is finished. " Seems like nothing's changed ten years later ! - No, No, No - 30/1/2010 " I have indeed finished that Jon Snow chapter, and I think it doesn't suck. That doesn't mean the book is done. Still more to write. Just sayin'" - Don't Go Wiggy On Me Now - 31/1/2010 "[...] I'm floating off the Isle of Cedars, or racing across the sands of Dorne. Warm places, both of them, with nary a flake to be seen. But I'd better not change horses. If I keep on keeping on, I should finish one of those chapters this week. Maybe both." - Snowing Again in Santa Fe- 3/2/2010 " Spent the day in the rainwood. 1205 pages. More to come. DANCE has now passed A CLASH OF KINGS to become the second longest volume in the series, though still three hundred pages shorter than the monster that was A STORM WITH SWORDS." George is writing Arianne II, which was pushed back into TWOW and was later released as a sample chapter - Not Done Yet - 8/2/2010 " But today was a good, productive day. Only problem is that the chapter I finished just now is going to require that I go back and rewrite one of the chapters I finished last week. Minor stuff, though. Shouldn't take more than a day. (Famous last words, I know)." - Not Done Yet - 14/2/2010 "But I've left the Isle of Cedars behind, at least. 1261 pages and counting. [...] Anyway, there we are. Back to the grindstone tomorrow." GRRM also elaborates on how the timeline of ADWD is "a bitch and a half". - Not Done Yet - 15/2/2010 "Last but not least, there's Meereen. Can I just drop a hydrogen bomb on the damn place?" - Wolves in the Night - 19/2/2010 "I'll be doing a Q&A, several signing sessions, and maybe a reading from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS." - Odds and Ends and Snow - 21/2/2010 " ... may be fraying, just a little. But don't quote me on that. " - The Meereenese Knot - 26/2/2010 " I'll be here writing, while David and Dan will be out in the center of the storm, writing the scripts and supervising pre-production. On other fronts, I hit page 1311 yesterday. No, not done yet. For some reason, got nothing written today." Game of Thrones is official. - The Green Light - 2/3/2010 "[Talking about his podcasts] I imagine I will be doing more of these when DANCE WITH DRAGONS comes out." - A Blast From the Past - 5/3/2010 "I'm going back to the DANCE. I need to kill someone. " - Grey Days - 18/3/2010 "In addition to the on-going work on DANCE, I am also trying to wrap up FORT FREAK, volume twenty-one in the Wild Cards series, and will soon need to gear up to write my season one script for HBO." - Odds and Ends - 23/3/2010 "All I have to do now is write my script for the HBO series,[...] write up my version of the last Suvudu cage match so Jaime doesn't lose to Rand al'Thor, complete A DANCE WITH DRAGONS,[...] - The Taxman Cometh - 7/4/2010 "(P.S. Had a good day writing today. Half the day on the book, half the day on the script. That's something I NEVER do. But today everything seemed to click. Taxes are done too)." - That Toddling Town - 15/4/2010 "this project will NOT take any writing time away from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS or subsequent Ice & Fire novels, even if it runs for ten years " - Homecoming - 20/4/2010 "On other fronts, I am writing on DANCE WITH DRAGONS [...] " - Coming Soon to a Theater Near You - 27/4/2010 "Hear me talk with Mike & Mike (no, not Greenberg and Golic) about WARRIORS, A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, and the HBO series. " - Can't Shut Me Up - 28/4/2010 "Other monkeys are still frolicking up there, including Kong. He was a king in his world, but we'll teach him fear... " - May Day - 1/5/2010 "Monkey front. Whacking at King Kong, making progress, but not as fast or easy as I like. " - More Odds, More Ends - 7/5/2010 "As for me... there are still a few more monkeys to wrestle into submission. Including Kong. " - Freaky Monkey Bites the Dust - 24/5/2010 "Meanwhile, I've been wrestling with Kong. For more than a week I've been pounding on the epilogue, but still can't get it to gel. [...]" - Stuff and Nonsense - 16/6/2010 "I am dancing, boys and girls, I'm dancing as fast as I can. But some days it does feel as if I am dancing in circles. " George decides to move two Arianne chapters in TWOW. - Dancing In Circles - 27/6/2010 "I just flipped over the calendar from June to July (okay, I'm a little late). And what do I find staring at me? A huge gorilla. " - A Good Omen??? - 2/7/2010 "I'll be reading a chapter from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, [...]" - Clarion Call - 3/7/2010 " No, no, not THAT long wait, sorry... [...] And for that other long wait... I'm working on it, I'm working on it. " - The Long Wait Is Over!!! - 14/7/2010 "Snowing heavily in Santa Fe, however, and I've been on a bit of a roll. I'll get to all that other stuff when I can. Kong comes first. [...] Off I go to shovel Snow. " - Snowbound - 21/7/2010 "And here I sit at my computer, still shoveling Snow. And snow. The snow won't stop. The squids don't like it much. sigh... I'm missing all the fun, just to make more fun for you guys." - The Only Living Boy in New York - 25/7/2010 "Finally, might mention that I finished a chapter of the DANCE today. I had one last chapter about this particular character -- I will call him Fred -- to finish, and then I am done with him for the book. " - A Few Odds, Some Ends - 30/7/2010 "The good news is that I seem to have written more than a hundred pages of THE WINDS OF WINTER already. " George moves the Forsaken from ADWD to TWOW. - Dancing - 31/7/2010 "Still have that final Fred chapter to finish. Sometimes it's good to change gears, though, so I did that today, and completed the last Barney chapter." - Dancing - 1/8/2010 "I actually had a very good day today, writing about a character who wasn't originally supposed to be a POV, but has turned out to be sharpest sword I've got for slicing through the Meereenese knot. One page at a time. One sentence at a time. One word at a time. " - August - 4/8/2010 "Another chapter done. And another character. This wraps up Yogi for the book. The Meereenese knot is hanging by a thread. One more good slash and it may finally part. " - Dancing - 7/8/2010 "And, of course, I have this book to finish. " Martin cancels his trip to New York City Comicon. - Sorry, New York - 8/8/2010 "And as long as I was swapping out samples, I rotated the excerpt on the Ice & Fire sample page as well, replacing the first Tyrion chapter from DANCE with the first Jon Snow. Enjoy the reads. " - Sample, Sample - 11/8/2010 "11:00 am reading from A DANCE WITH DRAGONS " - Aussiecon IV - 19/8/2010 " No, not Kong. Sorry. " - Another monkey Off My Back - 30/9/2010 " I'll be reading a chapter from DANCE at the FFG event too. " - One Down - 11/11/2010 " And tomorrow, back in Westeros. " - 16/11/2010 " Meanwhile, in Westeros, I am wrestling with krakens. " - G-Men - 20/11/2010 " It's snowing. On Jon. On the krakens. On me. We all slog onward. Finished a chapter a few days ago. Revised another. Then re-revised it. The days go too fast, the work too slowly. But onward. " - Snow - 16/12/2010 2011 " Parris and my docs agree, no more twelve-hour days for a while. So posts here may be less frequent than before. Kong comes first. " - Home Again - 11/1/2011 "And Ty and Daniel are already halfway done with the second book [about vomit zombies], which they write on Ty's day off. I have warned him that if they finish that before I finish DANCE, I'll have to kill them. " - Zombies in Space - 26/1/2011 " Must run now. Kong is calling. " - Some Odds, Some Ends - 11/2/2011 "Wrestling with a pair of krakens. One almost subdued, t'other still writhing and twisting and slapping me alongside the head with her tenatcles. After them, I've got a wolf to face." - Snowstorm on Skull Island - 15/2/2011 "And now we return you to your regularly scheduled programming, and me to Skull Island, where Kong is staggering a little." - The Social Media - 17/2/2011 "And now we’ve off for a six-month Honeymoon trip around the world. See you when we get back. (no, no, no, just kidding. GRRM will be honeymooning on Skull Island, I promise) " - Big, Big, BIG News - 17/2/2011 " And on other fronts... it's still snowing on Skull Island, but one of the krakens is done and t'other is down to the last tentacle. Closer and closer... inch by inch, word by word, step by step... " - The Latest HBO Preview - 27/2/2011 " No. Sorry. Not done yet. I'm close, though. [...] The end is in sight, at long long last, and we're close enough so that my editors and publishers at Bantam Spectra have set an actual publication date." ADWD now has an official publication date. - DRAGON TIME - 3/3/2011 " And if the DANCE announcement wasn't enough for you (greedy bastards!), there's a brand new HBO trailer just out." - EW Exclusive - 3/3/2011 " My friends at Harper Collins Voyager have confirmed that the British edition of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS will also be released on July 12 of this year, simultaneously with the American edition. " - Good News for Old Blighty - 4/3/2011 " And, yes, yes, we are doing all we can to make sure it is Roy Dotrice who will record the audiobook for A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. " - Roy Sets a Record - 11/3/2011 " As of this morning, A DANCE WITH DRAGONS is thirty (manuscript) pages longer than A STORM OF SWORDS. And. Not. Done. Yet. " - He's STILL a king in his world - 12/3/2011 " I do my best, but Kong is a mighty foe. Back to Skull Island." - Ye Old Tie-In - 15/3/2011 " Bantam has informed me that world record holder Roy Dotrice has been signed to read the audiobook of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. " - You Asked For It - 24/3/2011 " Two more [short] chapters done. More to come. Kong grows bigger and bigger. Past 1600 pp in manuscript now. Oy. Certainly the biggest monkey ever to climb on my back." - KONG - 27/3/2011 "I am writing as fast as I can. Finished a Meereen chapter yesterday, hope to finish another one today" - Watch the Skies! - 30/3/2011 " I've been too busy working on these last few chapters of DANCE to follow the progress of this season's Suvudu cage matches much " - 30/3/2011 " NOT a casting. NOT about the DANCE. NOT about the show. Just a bit of geeky fun. " - 30/3/2011 Bantam to split ADWD into five. - Bantam To Split DANCE Into Five - 1/4/2011 " More a little later. I have to get back to Kong. " - Tonight's the Night! - 17/4/2011 KONG IS DEAD !!! - twas beauty... - 27/4/2011 Of course, I probably missed a few of these little references, but I'm definitely not going to go through all these posts again just to check. First things first: retches Fuck that was horrible... At least now I've seen every goddamned blog post he's written... But what did it cost? Now the data: Number of references by year:
Year:
Number of references:
2006
14
2007
15
2008
18
2009
22
2010
45 (!)
2011 (up to April)
21
Number of references every quadrimester:
Months:
Number of references:
January - April 2006
5
May - August 2006
5
September - December 2006
4
January - April 2007
3
May - August 2007
7
September - December 2007
5
January - April 2008
7
May - August 2008
5
September - December 2008
6
January - April 2009
12
May - August 2009
5
September - December 2009
5
January - April 2010
22
May - August 2010
18
September - December 2010
5
January - April 2011
21
So yeah, that's a pretty huge contrast with TWOW. I previously counted that George made 10 (add to that one or two more since 2020 wasn't over yet when the list was drawn up) TWOW references last year, which is the most he's ever made, but even that is below the lowest number of ADWD references he has made in a year. However, it's understandable: Fans have been waiting for now almost ten years for the damn book, and everytime George opens his mouth and says either "winds" or "winter", everyone gets mad and thinks it'll be released soon (me included, there's no point in denying it). In general, GRRM also writes posts less often than he did ten years ago: the only few times he didn't post for a long period of time was because he was travelling, or at hospital, or because of some other thing that prevented him from blogging. Nowadays, especially of late, there are repeated periods of 7+ days without any blog post (He lost many friends lately, so that's certainly the main reason, but still). It should be noted that GRRM was far less shy about giving specifics regarding progress on ADWD than he is now for TWOW. All alog the writing process of ADWD, he often stated which POVs he was working on, if he pushes chapters into the next book, how many chapters he's recently finished, and even went several times as far as giving a manuscript pages count (something that'll never happen for Winds, I'm afraid). Nowadays, the mere mentions of The Winds of Winter in a blog post is considered a benediction, for reasons explained above. u/Words_are_TWOW also made an interesting table recollecting the partials GRRM mentioned sending to his publishers in his ADWD Post-Mortem.
Date
Pages
Number of ADWD references since last partial
GRRM Self Described Writing Speed
Jan 2006
542
None
Dealing with book split
Oct 2007
472
25
More rewriting than writing
March 2008
596
6
Good Spell
May 2008
684
5
Good Spell
Dec 2008
774
8
Good Spell
Sept 2009
998
19
Slow and Steady
Jan 2010
1038
5
Slow and Steady
June 2010
1028
25
Picking up steam again
August 2010
1332
9
Picking up steam again
Dec 2010
1412
10
Picking up steam again
March 2011
1571
8
Picking up steam again
May 2011
1512
14 (before completion announcement only)
Finished and announces publish date
So can we conclude from this list that the current situation is similar to the 10 or so months period before ADWD was announced? Well, some have said that the wording in George's last update were also used frequently shortly before ADWD was completed. But the phrase "one page at a time, one sentence at a time, one word at a time" was also used long before, in 2008 for example. However we can also see that George wrote 300+ pages for ADWD between June and August 2010, and we can plainly see that by the number of references he did in the first half of that year: he was apparently making great progress, and couldn't stop talking about it. Now comparatively, in 2020, George has made more substantial TWOW updates than ever before, and some of them even (somewhat?) bear resemblance to that of ADWD ( "Finished a Meereen chapter yesterday, hope to finish another one today" and "Three more chapters completed this past week. And good progress on several more."). Personally, I want to believe that we are experiencing an equivalent of that pre-ADWD period (but we shall see soon enough, when he writes another update, whenever that is going to be). But what do you think? (( Let the eternal war between the Summer Children and the Winter Wolves begin ! )) More fun/interesting/intriguing things I found while being bored : - First ever Not a Blog post, for those who are interested - Not A Blog - 2/7/2005 - " Oh, and I've also come up with a new title for the seventh (and final, I hope, I hope, I hope) volume of the series -- A DREAM OF SPRING." - this, that, and the other thing - 28/3/2006 - " I have a big conference call tomorrow about one project that cannot yet be announced" Birth of Game of Thrones? - This, That, and The Other Thing - 14/7/2006 - Game of Thrones is officially born - HBO options A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE - 17/1/2007 - " Maybe once I finish A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE, I will do a legal thriller set in the Seven Kingdoms next." - I'm Not a Lawyer... - 18/12/2007 - After a solved computer crash, George gives details on his DOS machine and his backup in case there is any accident. - Back In Business- 16/4/2009 - Someone made a song titled "George R.R.Martin Is Not Your Bitch" - Your Hit Parade - 13/8/2009 - Tyrion helps Jaime in figuring out how to defeat Cthulhu - Suvudu Cage Matches, Round Two - 17/3/2010 - Jaime fights Patrick Rothfuss's singing innkeeper Kvothe - Suvudu Final Four - 2/4/2010 - After Kvothe's defeat, Jaime prepares for his next challenge: a Trial of Seven. - Rand al'Thor Talks Trash - 5/4/2010 - Jaime's effing awesome Trial of Seven. - Trial of Seven - 10/4/2010 - George was hospitalized for a week. - Nightmare Before Christmas - 5/1/2011 - GRRM's Marriage - Big, Big, BIG News - 17/2/2011 - A prophecy threatens to come true! - Watch the Skies!- 30/3/2011 - April Fool's joke - Bantam To Split DANCE Into Five - 1/4/2011 - ADWD post-mortem - Talking About the Dance - 19/5/2011 TLDR: A list of every ADWD reference and allusion GRRM's made on NaB before he announced completion.
Hi there, just doing some thinking and I want someone to share my thoughts with. So I've always been one of those people that NEEDS to be around other people in order to be happy. Like an unhealthy extrovert I guess? Point is, I guess I use people as a way to distract myself, and as soon as anyone leaves, I feel crushed as all the bad thoughts rush back to my head. Because of that, I am generally around people as much as possible, and it's been this way for years. Today is different though. I moved back into my college dorm after my 2 month winter break at home. I would have my roommate back with me, but he was exposed to covid and can't come back yet, so I have the room to myself. I was sad and upset to leave my family, and I cried a little bit. That was hours ago. Since then, I've been oddly...at peace? Usually I wouldn't know what to do with myself, but I actually feel good. Better than I have in a long time actually. I love my family, but they can be a bit much sometimes, and a bit judgemental. My roommate and I also have a good relationship (we were friends in high school), but he's kind of an asshole if I'm being honest. I like that I can just be me. All alone. No performing for friends, no keeping quiet around family, nothing. I can listen to the music I like without being told to turn it off. I can watch what I want on tv without needing to worry about little siblings being in the room. I can eat what I want without hearing snide comments about how that's going to effect my weight. I can watch the football game tonight without my roommate scoffing and saying how much he hates football. I don't know, just thinking out loud (or in text) I guess. Maybe it's stupid, but I feel good right now, and it's nice.
If you live in the Houston area, there is a killer near you
I woke up to a text from my friend Rodrigo: Jason, bro, did you see this? There’s a serial killer near us. He’s been taking women from bars. Latest one was outside of Carl’s near your place. Check it out. I figured you might want to know since Brit frequents the place. What the hell? I texted back. I clicked the link he attached to an article titled, “If you live in the Houston area, there is a killer near you” on a website called: DailyNewsForYou.com The article claimed that there was a man who the writer called “The Bone Collector” who had killed over two dozen women in just a three-month span. All of them were last seen at bars, and all of their bodies were discovered less than twenty-four hours after their dissapearance I say all of their bodies. Really, all that was found of any of them was their skin. The killer tore all of it off of each of them, then dumped it all somewhere where they’d be found easily--on a park bench, at a bar, one he left on a slide in a children’s playground. Fucking sicko. Although the police hadn’t caught the man yet, one woman had apparently survived an encounter with him. She claimed that she was about halfway done walking between a local bar and her home when she felt a man grabbing her from behind. She tore her arm away, turned, kicked him in the balls, and sprinted away as fast as she could, only turning to look back to make sure he wasn’t chasing. It was dark, and she didn’t get a good look at the guy, but she described him as a 5’10 white male with blonde hair. God, that basically described half the guys in our area to a tee. All I could think about was some Ted Bundy looking mother fucker coming out of a dark alley and grabbing my sister from behind, choking her out, skinning her alive... I called her. She answered after four rings. “Brittany, hello?” She didn’t respond right away. Instead, I heard the sounds of distant laughing and chatter, bottles clinking, and shouts of joy, probably from a group of guys watching a football game. I spoke again, “Brit, you there?” “Hey, what’s up?” “Where are you?” “Why? Is something going on?” “Are you at the bar?” “Yeah.” “You know there was a girl killed there a few days ago right? Some creep has been kidnapping girls from local bars then killing and skinning them. You shouldn’t be there right now.” She laughed, “Man that would really suck if I got skinned on the way home, huh?” “That isn’t funny. I’m coming to get you.” “Well, I’m not leaving. What are you gonna do, kidnap me out of the bar? Now who’s the creep? “Fine. Point taken. I can’t force you to leave. I just want you to be safe, okay? Be careful.” “I will.” “Bye.” “Wait, Jason.” “Yeah?” “Thank you for caring about me. I love you. I promise I’ll be safe. I’m with a couple friends and we’ll look out for each other.” “I love you too. Would you mind asking a manager or someone if they’ve heard about this guy and if they’re taking any precautions? It seems odd that someone was killed walking home from there and they haven’t even made a statement yet.” “I can do that.” I hung up, then rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. But things just didn’t feel right. It felt like there was more I could have been doing. I mean, the guy had been at it for weeks and I’d only just learned about it from an article my friend texted me in the middle of the night? I needed to spread the news somehow. So I loaded up Twitter and tweeted out: \*Important News*** There is a serial killer currently active in the south Houston area. He has been targeting women leaving bars late at night. Please retweet to spread awareness. I attached the link to the article then put my phone down and went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, it already had over 1000 retweets, 500 likes, and dozens of comments. Mostly things like: “This is absolutely sickening” or, “I hope they catch the bastard!” But one of my friends, Brian, also replied: “We should go find him ourselves. The police aren’t doing shit. They haven’t even bothered to make a statement on this yet. Anyone in the Houston area who’s down, DM me.” I was interested, but instead of DMing him, I called him. Brian and I had been friends for many years. Although we didn’t hang out much anymore, for several years during high-school we were best friends. We both played varsity baseball. He was the catcher for our team, and I was our best pitcher. He was a real leader and he had helped me through a lot both on and off the field. I trusted him with my life. He answered right away and started talking before I could. “I guess this is about the killer?” “Yeah.” “I’m glad you called, man. There’s a lot of good people--a lot of good women--in this town. I can’t sleep at night knowing some sicko is running around having his way with them and no one’s doing anything to stop him. “That’s exactly why I made that tweet. Wanted to at least spread the information. It just feels like there’s more I could be doing.” “Yep. You’re just like me. I got a plan to catch this scumbag, but I haven’t found anyone who’s interested yet, so I’m alone so far. “I’m in. Whatever plan you got, I trust you.” “Let’s meet up tonight and go over things. We need to start by nine, so how about we meet at 8. Corkscrew Diner?” “Sounds good. I’ll be there.” He hung up. I smiled then jumped up from bed. I suddenly had the urge to knock out some pushups, so I did. I was excited about the prospect of actually hunting this guy. At least it’d give me something to do. For months I’d been working my nine to five, then going home and staring at one screen or another until I had to get ready to do it all again. I didn’t think we’d actually catch him anyway. I got to the diner at 7:45. It was mostly empty, but as I scanned the place I saw Brian sitting at a booth in the back end of the store. He was wearing an orange sweatshirt and black sweatpants. He was facing the door, but his head was bowed into an array of about a half-dozen papers scattered around the table. Against the wall, next to the salt, pepper, and ketchup, was a pair of walkie-talkies. He didn’t look up until I sat down across from him. His eyes were bloodshot, and under them were huge bags like dark bruises. “Hey man,” I said, smiling and sticking out my hand. “Long time no see. How ya been?” He shook my hand but didn’t return my smile or answer my question. He slid two papers and a walkie talkie in front of me. “Take a look.” The first paper was a partial map of our town. A bar called Fifth Row labeled in the middle. Around it he had drawn a perimeter with a yellow highlighter, and on each corner of the building, there was a red dot labeled: spot 1, spot 2, spot 3, spot 4. He spoke as I examined it, his voice taking the tone of a general preparing his army for war. “What I’ve drawn here is the entire area you should be covering. You should be driving a circle around the place every half hour from 9:00 PM until 3:00 AM. When you aren’t driving you should be parked and on the lookout in one of the designated positions I’ve drawn out on the map in red. You’ll start at spot 1 and rotate to the next spot every half hour after you make your round. If you see something of importance you should radio me and act accordingly. If you see anyone acting suspicious, just follow them and let me know so I can get over there and we can do whatever we need to do. I’ll be at Otto’s so it should only take me about 15 minutes to get to you.” Just then a waitress came up and took our orders. Brian ordered a large cup of black coffee. I got mine with sugar and a glazed donut. Brian continued, “The other piece of paper is a list of rules you should be following while on patrol. Most of them and pretty self-explanatory but I figure it’ll serve as a good reminder. You should take a look at it before you start your patrol.” “Wow,” I said. “You really put a lot of effort into this.” For the first time since I’d arrived at the restaurant, he dropped the commander role and his voice became more sincere.“This is our town, man. We have a chance to do something great. I’d love to catch up after this is all said and done, but for tonight I’m all business.” We were quiet for several minutes as he fiddled with his papers and I studied the map, mentally preparing for the night I had in front of me. When the waitress came back and set down our coffees, Brian looked at me and said, “Let’s get to work,” then scooped up his stuff and walked out the door. I was in parking spot 1 at the bar a few minutes before 9. I finally pulled out the list of rules and reminders.
You start patrol at 9:00 PM and end at 3:00 AM. The bar closes at 2:00, but this will ensure the safety of all patrons.
Don’t consume alcohol while on patrol.
Stay alert. Don’t be on your phone.
Switch parking locations every half hour.
Do a drive around the perimeter of the bar every half hour.
If you see anything suspicious, radio me immediately.
Description of the killer has him as a 5’10 white male.
You should have some sort of weapon on you. Don’t be afraid to kill the guy if you need to.
I audibly gasped at the last one. “What the hell?” Of course, the thought had crossed my mind. I had brought a knife for protection just in case. I mean, if I was sure I’d found the killer, and if it had to be done to protect either myself or someone else, yeah, I’d kill him. But it had felt like more of an imaginary situation than an actual possibility. To see the words written out in front of me made it feel so much more real. And what was going through Brian’s head to be able to write that out so casually? I hoped he wasn’t more gung-ho than I was. But no, it was probably just his way of amping me up. Letting me know that this was real shit and I had to be ready for anything. I folded the list up and put it on my passenger seat. It was time to start paying attention anyway. Parking spot 1 was dead in front of the bar, and I watched from my black Ford Focus as people trickled in every few minutes. At first, it was mostly groups of middle-aged women. Probably moms on their weekly “night out with the girls.” As the minutes went by younger men and women trickled in too. A few of them matched the description of the killer, but 5’10 white male wasn’t exactly super-specific. Right at 9:30, Brian came on the walkie. “Time to do our first rounds and switch to parking spot two. Everything going okay over there?” “Doing that now,” I answered back. “Everything’s going fine over here. You?” “Nothing yet.” I did a circle of the bar and entered parking spot two. An empty lot on the side of the bar. I hadn’t seen any movement in a while and it was almost time to make my next round when I remembered to call Brittany. She’d never told me what the bar had to say about the killer, and it was pissing me off that they didn’t seem to be taking any precautions. I rang her up and she answered immediately. “Hey, Jason what’s up!” “Nothing much. Are you going out tonight?” “No, not tonight. Daniel bought pizza and we’re gonna stay in and watch a movie.” “Huh. Nice change of pace.” She laughed. “What about you? You hitting the town with the boys tonight?” “Something like that. Anyway, the reason I called is because you never told me what the bar said last night about the killer. Did you ask them?” “Yeah, I did. I told them my big brother wanted his autograph and if they saw him again to let me know.” “I’m being serious.” “I did ask. Actually, the owner was there. He said he had no idea what I was talking about. Thought I was fucking with him or something.” “What the hell? So they’re just blatantly denying it?” “I guess-” Just then the radio began to crackle to life. “I gotta go.” Brian was whispering urgently, “I’m on foot leaving Otto’s right now. There’s a guy matching the description who I saw try to grab a girl out of her car earlier. She pushed him and drove away. I’m following him right now. We’re on Jefferson’s street but heading in the general direction of a Shell gas station. Don’t walkie back, it’s too loud. Just get over here ASAP. I’ll keep you updated on our location as much as possible.” My body went numb and my heart thumped brutally in my chest. Stupid, stupid, I thought. I didn’t expect anything like this to actually happen. I turned my car into drive and hightailed it toward Otto’s. I made the 15-minute drive in 10. I drove past the bar and toward the gas station. When I reached the gas station I slowed to a crawl and grabbed my walkie. I wanted to say something back to Brian, ask him for more info. He hadn’t given me any the entire drive there. But what if he was right behind the guy? I couldn’t risk compromising his position. So I kept driving past the gas station, into an area filled with dark alleyways, unlit buildings, and not nearly enough streetlights. I drove slowly, about five miles per hour, scanning. Why hasn’t he radioed back? I kept driving straight ahead. I passed the first possible turn and choked back tears as my chances of finding him slimmed. Why did I let him do this? We should have known better than to play cops. He’s a fucking car salesman for God’s sake. Cops. Why hadn’t I called the fucking cops? I stopped the car, whipped out my phone, and dialed 911. But just as the phone began ringing I caught a glimpse of movement in my rearview mirror. A flap of orange like a flag in the wind, disappearing into a narrow alleyway. I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, left my car right where it was, and ran into the dark unknown. I had a fleeting thought that I could be chasing after a murderous monster, but I told myself that I could be a monster too, if I had to be. I entered the alley at a full sprint just as a high-pitched scream pierced the air. The voice was male and incredibly close. I kept moving. It was too dark to see more than a few feet in front of me, but somehow I knew that Brian was there. I needed to get to him. More screams. This time from two different people. No more than a dozen yards in front of me. After another second I could make out motion on the ground, a scuffle between two men, one on top of the other. The man on top was beating a man in an orange sweatshirt--Brian-- and an instant before I reached the pile I saw that this man on top was holding something in his right hand. A knife. He plunged it into Brian’s chest, and this time there was no scream. Just a moan, and the sound of heavy breathing from myself, and The Bone Collector. I flew through the air and tackled him so that the knife flew from his hand and landed with a splash in a puddle of muddy water about five feet in front of us. He was already bleeding from a knife wound to his side so it didn’t make much to break him down. I beat him until his face was bloody and he was barely struggling, then pinned him by his arms and looked into his eyes. “YOU KILLED HIM. YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU KILLED HIM.” He whimpered, “No, no,” his voice dry and barely a croak. “He attacked me… it… it was self defens-” I spit right into his open mouth. “Fucking Bone Collector? You like skinning people alive?” “Wha- what?” “You’re gonna love this then.” I stood up and stomped on his stomach hard, then walked over and grabbed the knife. It was covered in Brian’s blood, but I didn’t care. The guy didn’t even try to move. He just let it happen. I’m not even sure he was alive while I did it, but I didn’t care to check. I kneeled back over him and started scraping away at his skin. It was like some force had taken over me. I was becoming the monster he was, and I loved it. I was about halfway done when the police showed up. I guess they traced my call. They pointed guns at me, pinned me on the floor, took me into the police station. Before I knew it I was being interrogated by some Officer Hyde. He told me I was being charged with murder. I told him everything that happened. The plan me and Brian had, who that guy I killed was, and how he’d killed Brian before I’d gotten to him. He said he didn’t know who The Bone Collector was, and I told him about the news article. Said maybe he should start doing his job. He left for a couple of hours after that. Somehow, I fell asleep right there, handcuffed to a hard metal table. When he came back and woke me up he seemed genuinely sad. And sorry for me, too. He wasn’t even able to make eye contact with me, just stared right past me. “I’m sorry to tell you this,” he said. “But that story you read was a fake news article. The site it was on is notorious. Your friend attacked that man with a knife, and he was killed with his own weapon. As far as we can tell, that guy in the alley was completely innocent.” My heart flew up in my throat, threatening to choke me. I could barely get the words out. “But… but… Brian said that guy tried to grab a girl out of her car. He… he can’t be innocent.” The officer took a deep breath, “Maybe he saw it wrong or misinterpreted the situation. We’ll figure out more in the days to come. For now, we’re writing this off as just a tragedy, a terrible tragedy. But you’re free to go.” It’s been a week since then. I haven’t gone to work or left my house at all. Today officer Hyde called me. He said that what Brian had seen was a fight between the man I’d killed, a school teacher named Gregory Dunn, and his wife. It turns out I’m the only murderer in this town. I finish writing this now with a pistol in my lap. It’s waiting to damn me to the hell I deserve. If you live in the Houston area, there is a killer near you, and he’s about to blow his fucking brains out. WC
In terms of humans, the United States Army can easily fit ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag. There is no room to swing a cat in the numerous vehicles I have been subjected to enter. Capacity is the objective, and comfort is meaningless. "We're going to pack you into a cattle car, then pack you into an airplane, and then we are going to pack the sky full of Paratroopers! The old life changed after Assessment and Selection, and I found myself flying "White Tail" (Commercial Air) more often than "Gray Tail (Military). However, flying White Tail is not without issues. My second deployment to Lebanon was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." My initial flight out of Baltimore Washington International (BWI) was canceled without notice. It was time to call the Travel Princess who coordinates all our civilian travel. Ring! Ring! Ring! Travel Princess: Hello Sloppy: Hey Travel Princess. It's Sloppy. My flight out of BWI was canceled. Travel Princess: That sucks. Need me to book the same flight tomorrow? Sloppy: No. I have an engagement tomorrow, and I need to fly tonight. Travel Princess Magic! Travel Princess: I just found a flight out of Dulles International Airport (IAD). Sloppy: When do I fly? Travel Princess: Three hours! Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My. Life. Sloppy: Okay. Looks like I will be... Travel Princess: Having awkward conversations with a Cab Driver!?! Sloppy: Exactly. Travel Princess: I have bad news though! Sloppy: Excellent. What is it? Travel Princess: I can't get you a window seat. I got you an aisle seat. Sloppy: So long as I am on the end and not subjected to two strangers. Travel Princess: Also, you won't be going through London Heathrow. You'll be traveling through Kuwait City International (KWI). Sloppy: (Frustrated) AWESOME! That's how it started. Thankfully, my cab driver was more introverted than I and there was zero conversation during the commute to Washington D.C. Much to my surprise, the new-start of my international travels went swimmingly. Unlike BWI, the Transportation Security Authority (TSA) had little interest in the gadgetry in my suitcase. Minor Rant Dear Reader, have you ever been told a "Fact" that you did not know, or believe to be true? I am typically that guy for other people, but Troy was that guy for me. He was a former Troop Sergeants Major, and full of absolutely useless knowledge. Troy: Did you know you cannot hum while holding your nose? Sloppy: Bullshit! Pause Sloppy: Fuck! Troy: Did you know bleach expires? Sloppy: Bleach does not expire. Troy: Yeah, actually, it does. Sloppy: You're a fucking idiot. Bleach does not expire. Troy: Bet you lunch it does? Sloppy: Deal Detailed Internet Calculations (DIC) Sloppy: Fuck. What do you want for lunch? Dear Reader, there are also the moments in which someone tells you a "Fact," but there is no way to scientifically prove that it is, in deed, factual. My "Army work"was uniquely different than the typical "Army work." There are times in which I travel with equipment that peaks the interest of a TSA Agent. I have no issues providing a mundane overview, but I don't have the time, or the authorization to provide detailed insight. Thus, Airport Security can quickly become a lethargic process. Troy: Did you know TSA Agents try to avoid inspecting luggage with sex toys? Sloppy: What? Troy: Like if you have a giant dildo in your bag. They won't check it. Sloppy: How in the hell do you know that? Troy: My buddy. He is a TSA Agent and said he never checks bags with sex toys. Sloppy: That does not mean this is indicative of all TSA Agents. Troy: No. Probably not. I know they never check my bag though. Sloppy: Crazy Eye Glare!?! Troy: Yup. I travel with a dildo. Dear Reader, I am certain TSA would check your bag with your dildo was nestled tightly to an object that screamed, "I'm a blast at parties." Simply writing, Troy's advice is by no means backed by substantiated fact, but TSA has never asked me to explain my unique gadgets, or the dildo in my carry-on baggage. Rant Complete I am not enthusiastic about aisle seats. I don't particularly care for strangers. I found my seat near the end of the aircraft, and the four seats to my left were empty. They also remained empty when the Captain announced they would be closing the doors, and we would be departing in thirty-minutes. I thought I had just won the lottery. Then I seen a mother, Crib-Midget, and Mini-Human approaching. There were four seats, and only three humans, but I felt that someone had just kicked my puppy. Dear Reader, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Everything has it's place, and I match everything when I dress. I iron and hand my clothes the day before I wear them. I take great pride in my appearance. My OCD-alarm was pinging when I seen them approach. The Mini-Human was likely around ten years old, and carrying the largest drink Starbucks ever made. They forcefully made their way to their seats, and the Mini-Human plopped down next to me. He set his frou-frou drink down on the flimsy tray-table, and then started jostling around. I take Tylenol PM as soon as I sit down on an international flight. Sleeping is my way of time traveling. I found myself in a dilemma. My body was telling me to close my eyes and visit the sandman, but my brain was forecasting a catastrophe. Mini-Human Jostling Around Sloppy, with the reflexes of a cat and speed of a mongoose, catches the drink as it's about to tip. Mini-Human: Sorry. Thank you. Sloppy: No problem. Second Time My reflexes are starting to fade, but the cup nearly tips off again as he plays video games on a handheld device. Mini-Human: Sorry. Sloppy: No problem. Please just watch it though. TIME TRAVEL (Thirty-Minutes) I wake to a very cold sensation on my brand new pants. There was chilled coffee, delicious caramel, and whipped cream all over my crotch area. My facial expressions clearly frightened the Mini-Human, but I knew it was an accident. I told him it was okay. However, I was forced to wait until we got to "cruising altitude" before I made my trip to the bathroom. I was forced to sit and just let the frothy goodness embed it's deliciousness into my outfit. Cruising Altitude and Failed Un-dirty Clothes (FUC) Sloppy returns to slumber. I don't recall exactly how long I was sleeping, but I was out-to-the-world. I awoke to a stewardess frantically shaking me, and telling me that I need to address an immediate issue. Stewardess: Sir. Sir. SIR! Sloppy: (Groggy) Yeah! Stewardess: Here. You're baby is crying. Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My kid is crying. Sloppy: (Groggy) I'm so sorry. Sloppy is now holding the last thing anyone should trust him with; another human life. Sloppy Brain: Wait! Wait! Wait! You don't have a kid. Well, you do, but you don't have a baby, or kid on this flight. Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am! Stewardess turns! Sloppy: This is not my baby. I don't have a baby. Sloppy motions "HERE! TAKE KID NOW" gesture. Stewardess: I am sorry, but I can't. Sloppy: What? Stewardess: I can't take the baby. Where are the parents? Sloppy looks at empty aisle seats. Sloppy Brain: Great! Fucking great. You're dream of an "empty aisle" came true, but know you don't know where the mother of this screaming child is. Dear Reader, I have a baby cradled in my arm like a football, and I don't know where the endzone is, and spiking a football-sized human is not generally a socially acceptable practice. I need to "Heisman" this kid, but had no earthly idea where the mother was, aside from being on the airplane of course. The plane was a great place to start though. Contrary to what many people would assume, I love the Middle East (ME), and predominately Muslim countries. I love the food, and I love the people. I have a disdain for Muslims whom initiate the lead jellybean exchange with me, but I would have that problem with Christians and Atheists as well. I generally dislike anyone who wishes to expedite my shelf-life by way of supersonic paper-cuts. There are cultural customs that make finding an absentee parent difficult during an international flight, specifically burkas. The mother was a "ninja," and wore a head-to-toe black burka. I literally didn't know what she looked like. Further complicating my location effort was the fact that she was not alone. There were at least another hundred ladies that shopped at the same Dooey & Burka store. Stewardess: What was she wearing? Sloppy: That! Looks! Stewardess: (Puzzled) Is that her!?! Sloppy (Fuck. My. Life Face) NO! She is wearing a black burka. Aside from that, I don't know what she looks like. Stewardess: My god! This is gonna be challenging. The stewardess was firm on her stance of not taking the Crib-Midget, but she thankfully assisted during Operation Find Unattended Kid Mother En-route (FUK ME). We, but mostly me, woke up at least thirty people before finding the mother's ass planted in Business Class. I can only imagine what the other ninja ladies thought when I asked them... Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me? Is this your child (Extends human outwards)? There were a considerable amount of "NO" answers. Worse? Some of the people did not speak English. I wonder what was going through their minds. Dramatization Sloppy: English. English English English? Translation "Would you like my child?" "I found this "thing" next to me. Is it yours?" "Free Baby! Piping hot Free Baby here. Get your Free Baby." The stewardess had a long conversation with absentee-mother, and she returned to Coach with the rest of the animals. I couldn't see past the eyes, but she looked angry with me. Not only did I rat her out for her stealthy move to Business Class, but I passed off a crying human. Dear Reader, the rest of the flight was uneventful. The landing and hustle at Kuwait City International was anything but. I was familiar with the layout of the airport, but I was low on time. I had decided to take another attempt at washing my pants. I entered the nearest bathroom and found a line of men, and they were all washing their feet in the sink. I get it. I understand why they were doing it, but there is no "wait in line" in the Middle East. You, like an asshole, push your way to the front and skip everyone else in line. It's "a way" in the United States, but is not "the way" most Americans practice "wait in line." I got sick of standing in line after about ten men budged. It was my turn. Sloppy: Excuse me. I was in front of you, and I am going to... He looks me up-and-down, and then it happened. Male: At least I didn't piss my pants. It was perfect English, but I didn't have the time to explain that I didn't piss myself. I just rolled with it. The second cleaning attempt was just as fruitless as the first cleaning attempt. The only thing that made my trip better was chaos in Beirut International (BEY). I arrived, and managed to beat the rush through customs. I was then greeted by a nearly seven foot tall giant named Jimmy. Jimmy: Whoa! Did you piss your pants? Sloppy: Not yet. Long story. I have to piss before we roll. I was more than familiar with the layout of this particular airport, but I was paralyzed with piss-pain. I could barely walk, let alone run, to the bathroom. Jimmy: Ahh. I will go hold up the line. It was an odd statement. I was not certain how Jimmy would, "hold up the line," but I would soon find out. The bathroom at Beirut International is immediately to the right after you depart customs. However, it's the size of a small closet. There are two urinals, and one toilet stall. The spacing between the urinal and opposite wall is no more than four feet though. Again, think long, but narrow closet. I continue the agonizing pee walk and I am a bit disappointed when I see a large line forming near the bathroom. There was "loud chatter" that I didn't understand, and some clearly disgruntled humans. I rounded the corner and nearly pissed myself. Jimmy was in deed "holding up the line." Jimmy's back was firmly planted on the wall to the right, and a flowing stream of yellow piss was arcing across the room, and landing in the urinal to the left. Jimmy was peeing from wall-to-wall. Nobody was going past urinal number one without receiving a golden shower. Jimmy: (Smile) I got you man. Come in. I'll pinch her off. Sloppy, like Moses (Kind of) parts pee stream and proceeds to second urinal. I take a look to the left to get a glimpse of the chaotic line at the entrance. There were loud grumbles of displeasure, but, then I seen an old man. The old man was at least 70 years or older, and his face went from scowl, an onto smile. He then started to clap and I congratulate Jimmy's technique. Old Man: (Laughing with Arabic Accent) Bravo. Bravo. Sloppy: That was fucking brilliant. Jimmy: Yeah. Didn't think you wanted to wait in line. Pulling out a gun would have been too much, so I figure peeing across the room would work. Sloppy: Good to know for the next time. That's that Dear Reader. Not an ordinary Military tale, but it was the oddest Military travel tale I have had. I "pissed my pants" with coffee, which ruined them. I was handed a baby that was not mine, and then forced to conduct a Ninja-hunt. I was accused of pissing my pants by men who were washing their feet in sinks. I was then accused of pissing my pants by Jimmy, and then Jimmy saved the day with four feet of arc pissing that was superbly executed. I'd like to thank the Army for this tale, because I don't know if Joe Civilian has experiences like this. Fucking Army! Cheers, Sloppy
Letter by Robbo shared by the Anfield Wrap on Facebook
Clarification Not Andy Robertson, Robbo from the Anfield Wrap. Maybe get a flair about that from the mods? It's one hell of a record; one we’ve been lucky to live through – one many other supporters, of many other clubs, will never see the likes of. But all good things come to an end. Tonight it did. And now The Champions have to suck it up and start again. After 68 games unbeaten at home – after an imperious spell stretching all the way back to April 2017 – the needle scratched and the vinyl finally stopped spinning. Andy Robertson, Fabinho, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Shaqiri, Mo Salah, Alisson, Sadio Mane – they all just tasted their first ever Premier League defeat at Anfield in their Liverpool careers. Mad that, isn’t it? A good mad. A tremendous mad. A mad worth remembering. Now let’s hope it stings just as much for them as does for us right now.. I think it will. The headlines will scream shock – and it is in the context of Burnley’s first win at Anfield in 46 years. It is in terms of the 16-1 odds you could get on a victory for Sean Dyche’s side. Yet it’s been coming. Liverpool haven’t won in five in the league now, and haven’t scored in four. And watching The Reds recently has been the footie equivalent of Bill Murray waking up to the 6am alarm with Sonny and Cher ringing out. Again, and again, and again. Unlike Bill, we don’t have the option of smashing the alarm clock or chinning someone – we’ve got to stick with it. It’s horrible. It’s grim. It’s a shitshow on repeat. And that’s just life at the moment. Please no, not the football as well. It’s made worse by the fact that we can’t be there; rendered powerless by the pandemic. Meet the coach, bring the flags, get in early…. Not an option. How much is this team hindered by circumstance? We can never truly know. It can’t be measured. But we can take a wild fucking guess. If you bring in a manager who loves passion, emotion and intensity in his football; who strengthens the bond between supporters and superstars to a level previously unknown in many of our lives, is it unreasonable to say there will be a drop off when the stands are suddenly silent? Liverpool at its best is a Liverpool driven by spirit; the spine-tinglingly stuff Anfield at its best generates by the bucketload. Anfield now is sanitised, soulless and silent. A different ball game. Even the most cynical must admit that, at the very least, it’s likely a factor. There are likely others, too: the sheer amount of football many of our players have played, not just this season, but for some the last four: Gini Wijnaldum has barely missed a game in the league since he got here in 2016. There’s the mental toll, too. The Reds have been rattling along at a phenomenal rate for so long: there’s a European Cup, a Club World Cup and a title to show for it. But there was also another European Cup final. There was also a 97-point season before the 99-point season. Somewhere, sometime, something had to give. It looks like now it has. We can point to key injuries, to the factors above, more too if we think long enough; VAR, dodgy decisions, take your pick. But it’s unavoidable that Liverpool, collectively, have been stumbling towards this for a few weeks. Ideas have ran out, the fizz has gone missing, and The Reds have become predictable; playing into opponents’ hands. Pointless crosses. Scuffed shots. Overhit passes. Heavy touches. Sorry set-pieces. Leaden legs. A perfect shistorm of bad form, low confidence and, fuck it, I’ll say it, some shitty luck, ended up with what we witnessed tonight. This Is A Low, for any 90s indie kids out there. Worryingly, you wonder how Klopp shakes it up in the immediacy. He’s dropped players, rested players, tinkered, and tried. So what’s left? The fixture list doesn’t look kind either. The best I can do is that the next two are big games. Perhaps that helps. Because Liverpool have been struggling against sides they should be beating who shut up shop. Perhaps Man United get too cocky on Sunday. Perhaps Spurs come out swinging on Thursday. We walk on. And we can only hope. There’s a team in there somewhere. A great team. There’s goals there, too. Loads of goals. These Reds have shown some of the biggest balls around to bounce back from the deepest of disappointments in the past. The Mentality Monsters have got to do it all again. Play it again, Jurgen. Robbo
Pre-Match Thread: Barcelona vs Juventus [Champions League]
Match Information:
Match: Barcelona vs Juventus Competition: Champions League Date: Tuesday, 8th of December 2020 Time: 21:00 CET / 15:00 EST - Convert to local time Venue: Camp Nou, Barcelona - 99354 capacity Referee: Tobias Stieler (Germany)
Lineups and Squads:
Barcelona - Official squad to be confirmed GK: Ter Stegen, Neto DEF: Dest, Piqué, Araujo, Lenglet, Alba, Sergi Roberto, Umtiti, Firpo MID: Busquets, Aleñá, Pjanić, Riqui Puig, Coutinho, Pedri, Matheus, De Jong ATT: Griezmann, Braithwaite, Messi, Dembélé, Trincão, Ansu Fati Unavailable: Piqué, Sergi Roberto, Umtiti, Dembélé, Ansu Fati (injured) Not called:
Juventus - Official squad to be confirmed GK: Wojciech Szczęsny, Carlo Pinsoglio, Gianluigi Buffon, Stefano Gori DEF: Giorgio Chiellini, Matthijs De Ligt, Alex Sandro, Danilo, Leonardo Bonucci, Merih Demiral, Gianluca Frabotta, Koni De Winter, Alessandro Riccio MID: Arthur, Aaron Ramsey, Weston McKennie, Juan Cuadrado, Adrien Rabiot, Rodrigo Bentancur, Dejan Kulusevski, Sami Khedira, Manolo Portanova, Hamza Rafia, Daouda Peeters ATT: Cristiano Ronaldo, Paulo Dybala, Federico Bernardeschi, Morata, Giacomo Vrioni, Federico Chiesa Unavailable: Gianluigi Buffon, Giorgio Chiellini, Merih Demiral (injured) Not called:
We really need to shoot more instead of trying to get another pass and another pass and another pass. Worst offender was Dembele and Fati today who both had clear lines on goal and went for a pass instead. But overall a good game and a deserved win since Juve had 0 shots on target (besides 3 offside goals). Great refereeing again too. CL refs do spoil us every time and then we go back to La Liga...
The people who say that there hasn’t been a positive improvement on this team are either blind or being purposefully negative. I really like what Koeman has brought to the team.
Coutinho has been much better individually this season, but I like Griezmann in the middle alongside Messi much more. Unlike Coutinho, he actually knows how to run behind the defense and this unleashes Messi as a CAM. He needs to work on his finishing but he was great today overall. Hope we see this pairing more in the upcoming matches.
Pedri hype train confirmed. He’s a monster, wow. Everyone looked good tonight though. Funny, I listened to the Italian commentators (a duo I actually like, they’re very knowledgeable and elegant) and they praised Messi left and right all match, on his passing ability, his touches, his game play, his orchertrating our attack, his defending even, not to mention his assist, just noting among all these things that he “ate”, as we say, two goals - missing those easy chances he wouls normally score. I come to the sub and the running theme in the match thread is that he was having an awful game. No, he wasn’t, his shooting was off, and yeah for Messi that’s huge and it’s been the case for a while, but there is more to his games than that, thank god. It was odd to be reminded what it must look like to someone who doesn’t watch every single one of our matches. Seriously though, when even Fati doesn’t just SHOOT when he’s alone in front of goal I hope it’s a fluke more than a symptom of Messidependencia recrudescence. Also, poor Morata. Juve was unlucky but they were also poor, the whole second half they were invisible - bar the few close/offside chances that looked more and more desparate. Kudos to our defence, they did so well in what could easily turn in very ugly scenarios, with so many people and so many touches in the box.
Juve were really dire today. We could’ve scored a lot more. Great performance from Pedri especially in 2nd half, absolutely toyed with Cuadrado. Also props to Frenkie, not an easy job but managed well.
Greizmann only needs to work on his finishing now, his pressing was top class today, he and Pedri never let Juve build up from the back. Araujo, Pjanic and Pedri are sure starter. Dembele gaining his form and confidence back. Frenkie now joins Roberto in the SWISS KNIFE CLUB. and JUST SHOOT when in box ffs !!!!!
Such a weird game. We were in control for the large part of it, but there were 3 (!) called off offside goals we were honestly really lucky not to concede. We created plenty of chances, but were so non-clinical and unlucky shooting that it looked like only a ricochet would send the ball in the net. It is amazing we finally create good proper open chances away in the CL, but we really need more shooting practice. Messi also seems to be training penalties these past months, he really needs to remember how to shoot from open play during his chances. Griez almost scored twice, good game from him compared to all his recent ones. Overall: we won against Juve away! We could have scored many more goals, but could have also conceded a lot. The positives outweigh the negatives though, we just need to be more clinical and things might just work out.
Quotes:
Koeman: "Messi and Cristiano are different and both are the best of this era, hopefully we can enjoy both tomorrow night." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Cristiano is still among the top in world football. We will have to defend well." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "De Ligt? It's a shame that he's playing for Juventus and not here, but this happened before I arrived." - src @barcacentre Koeman: “Pjanić's role here cannot be compared to the one he had at Juve, it's very different. He arrived late here, and that has had an influence, but I have no doubts with Pjanić." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Messi is very important in our attack. Many plays come from Leo's foot. Sometimes the easiest culprit is him for being the best player in the world, but he doesn't make mistakes in defense." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Different in the Champions League? The teams in La Liga know us better and lock us up better. Had we scored earlier, the result would have been different. But we have to win those games." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "I don't like to scream throughout the game, as a player I didn't like it if the coach spent the game running and screaming on the wing. Having said that, we must all take more responsibility on the pitch." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Coutinho has total freedom to move on the pitch, you have to find a balance." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "With the injuries and how La Liga is going, we need a strong team tomorrow, but also with freshness." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Tomorrow we will line up a strong team because we want to win the group." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Pedri has participated in all the matches except against Ferencvaros, for a 17-year-old lad it's great, because he's deserved it. He can play in several positions, he's a smart player." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "My communication with Leo is about the games, personal issues I put aside." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "We created a lot of chances but we are not effective and we have made mistakes that aren't allowed. We have to analyse that." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "If I lose I'm pissed off and I've let the players know in training yesterday, we can't concede goals like the ones we have conceded." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Dembélé's injury is a step back because he was fine, physically he has improved a lot and we know that he has a past with the issue of injuries." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Dembélé's injury is one more reason why I complain about the schedule, we will lose more players because of that. I don't know who makes the schedules..." - src @barcacentre Koeman: "Our goal is to win every game. We want to top our group. We have a three-point advantage and we have a lot of chances to do it." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "In the physical part I started to work in a very different way, and I think it was necessary to play with more strength. I feel also stronger mentally. I learned from my first stage at Barça." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "Internally we talk a lot with the coach and with each other to talk about things to improve and solve them, but we do it internally." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "I try to do my best in every position I play in. We want to improve." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "I see the team doing well mentally, eager to change the dynamic." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "Messi and Neymar together? I don't know what will happen, I can only talk about myself. But of course we all like to play with the best." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "We are in a changing process, you have to be patient. And we do everything to make things work as soon as possible." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "Tomorrow we have a big game, we have to win to top the group and show that we are worth it." - src @barcacentre Coutinho: "I'm the first one to reproach my performance, I know it has not been what was expected. I have worked hard mentally to be well and today I consider myself stronger in this regard." - src @barcacentre
[Weekly Quotes Thread] CP3 on Mikal's big game: "Man, one of the best feelings. Been around a lot of guys in this league over the years and he’s one of the best guys I think I’ve ever been around. So to see him do well and to see his game blossoming the way it is, it’s nice because he deserves it.”
Clippers(L) Monty:
"I love the way we scrapped and battled. We know we can beat that team because we've done it before. We've just got to get off to a better start than we did tonight."
Booker:
"We fought back against a good team. That's good energy moving into the next game."
Raptors(W) Monty: On the events at the Capitol
"I think for all of us that go home after shootaround and take a quick nap, when you wake up, you're not expecting to wake up to that."
On Payne
"He’s got a different gear. He’s got a herki-jerkiness to his game and he’s a willing passer. The thing about Cam’s passes is that they’re on time and on target. You rarely see him pass the ball high or low. I thought his passes were on point tonight. His ability to get to the paint really helps us in those situations.”
CP3:
"We just trying to pile up wins … it’s a very odd season. Guys didn’t get a chance to play pickup before the season, wasn’t a lot of practices so the games somewhat look a little whatever-ish right now because teams are trying to figure it out and play at the same time but we just want to win. We just want to pile up wins.”
Pistons(L) Galloway:
"Upset and disappointed we didn't pull that one out. That's one you got to have. We're going to look back and kick ourselves on that one."
Monty: On the foul disparity
"I'm not going to get a fine on silliness like that. It is what it is. It's 25 to 14 in a physical game like with that many bigs that they play with, they only had 14."
On adjustments
"This is the second game when we've come out and played decent offense and teams have thrown somewhat of a change up on defense at us and we haven't been able to either hit shots or execute properly. That's something that I have to figure out to help our guys do better."
Pacers (W) Cam: On Mikal
"I told him yesterday on the plane he's due for a big one today." "I knew it was coming. There's no surprise to me, but I love it. He works so hard and he deserved that for real. So I'm proud of him. He really stepped up in a big way and really pushed us towards this win."
Mikal:
"We just talked about it. We were on the plane talking about our career highs and stuff. What you think the best game was. We were just randomly talking about it and he said I was due for a big one. It's just funny how life goes. Yeah, that's my guy. My boy Cam."
Monty:
"I'm not quite sure we're going to call this team special yet, we got a lot more work to do, but we have special people on this team across the board. High-character guys that bring it every day. They put up with me and I'm grateful to have the kind of players that we have." "The beauty of the NBA is sometimes you get a chance to to get right back on the floor and get it back. We had a tough one last night, but we came back to play a really good team. So to get this kind of win, a quality win, it should give our guys confidence going into the next game.
On Mikal
"His nickname should be Every Day because he’s the same guy every single day. Always has a great attitude, works his tail off, has a great edge about him, treats everybody with unreal respect, and yet he goes out there on the floor and plays like he’s a football player, a nut sometimes. I love the balance that he has and I just love to see guys who work hard and have the work pay off for them." "He’s been a bit of a flagship for our player development program and I’m just happy to see him not just doing it on the offensive end but he does it every night on the defensive end. Even when he doesn’t stop his guy, he’s gonna give you great effort. That’s what our team is based upon. We compete every night and we try to defend and share the basketball.”
Nate Bjorkgren: On his former team Suns and Booker
"He continues to grow as a player. He's a very smart player. Very aggressive. I was there when we drafted him. I was his summer league head coach." "I very much enjoyed my time there in Phoenix being in that organization."
CP3: On Mikal
"Aside from Mikal taking pretty much the toughest defensive assignment night in night out … he can hoop, he nice, but then … he’s slick man. You gotta watch him. He’s real slick with his tongue. A fun guy, a very fun guy to be around. He just got a great spirit about him.” "He’s one of those guys (where) when I kick it to him and he gets his shot, I feel like I made it.”
Before I get to the story, I'd like to ask you FUckers to head over to MilitaryStories and vote for u/itsallalittleblurry. The man is a masterful storyteller. I use "fuck" a lot, and say some pretty inappropriate things. Why can't you fool a fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday. See? Grossly inappropriate. Not Blurry though. I feel like I am listening to my father or grandfather, and I always find myself plopping my ass down and listening to the masterfully relayed stories. Again, Please vote for Blurry in 2020. It could very well be the only great thing about 2020. Rant Complete! In terms of humans, the United States Army can easily fit ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag. There is no room to swing a cat in the numerous vehicles I have been subjected to enter. Capacity is the objective, and comfort is meaningless. "We're going to pack you into a cattle car, then pack you into an airplane, and then we are going to pack the sky full of Paratroopers! The old life changed after Assessment and Selection, and I found myself flying "White Tail" (Commercial Air) more often than "Gray Tail (Military). However, flying White Tail is not without issues. My second deployment to Lebanon was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." My initial flight out of Baltimore Washington International (BWI) was canceled without notice. It was time to call the Travel Princess who coordinates all our civilian travel. Ring! Ring! Ring! Travel Princess: Hello Sloppy: Hey Travel Princess. It's Sloppy. My flight out of BWI was canceled. Travel Princess: That sucks. Need me to book the same flight tomorrow? Sloppy: No. I have an engagement tomorrow, and I need to fly tonight. Travel Princess Magic! Travel Princess: I just found a flight out of Dulles International Airport (IAD). Sloppy: When do I fly? Travel Princess: Three hours! Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My. Life. Sloppy: Okay. Looks like I will be... Travel Princess: Having awkward conversations with a Cab Driver!?! Sloppy: Exactly. Travel Princess: I have bad news though! Sloppy: Excellent. What is it? Travel Princess: I can't get you a window seat. I got you an aisle seat. Sloppy: So long as I am on the end and no subjected to two strangers. Travel Princess: Also, you won't be going through London Heathrow. You'll be traveling through Kuwait City International (KWI). Sloppy: (Frustrated) AWESOME! That's how it started. Thankfully, my cab driver was more introverted than I and there was zero conversation during the commute to Washington D.C. Much to my surprise, the new-start of my international travels went swimmingly. Unlike BWI, the Transportation Security Authority (TSA) had little interest in the gadgetry in my suitcase. Minor Rant Dear Reader, have you ever been told a "Fact" that you did not know, or believe to be true? I am typically that guy for other people, but Troy was that guy for me. He was a former Troop Sergeants Major, and full of absolutely useless knowledge. Troy: Did you know you cannot hum while holding your nose? Sloppy: Bullshit! Pause Sloppy: Fuck! Troy: Did you know bleach expires? Sloppy: Bleach does not expire. Troy: Yeah, actually, it does. Sloppy: You're a fucking idiot. Bleach does not expire. Troy: Bet you lunch it does? Sloppy: Deal Detailed Internet Calculations (DIC) Sloppy: Fuck. What do you want for lunch? Dear Reader, there are also the moments in which someone tells you a "Fact," but there is no way to scientifically prove that it is, in deed, factual. My "Army work"was uniquely different than the typical "Army work." There are times in which I travel with equipment that peaks the interest of a TSA Agent. I have no issues providing a mundane overview, but I don't have the time, or the authorization to provide detailed insight. Thus, Airport Security can quickly become a lethargic process. Troy: Did you know TSA Agents try to avoid inspecting luggage with sex toys? Sloppy: What? Troy: Like if you have a giant dildo in your bag. They won't check it. Sloppy: How in the hell do you know that? Troy: My buddy. He is a TSA Agent and said he never checks bags with sex toys. Sloppy: That does not mean this is indicative of all TSA Agents. Troy: No. Probably not. I know they never check my bag though. Sloppy: Crazy Eye Glare!?! Troy: Yup. I travel with a dildo. Dear Reader, I am certain TSA would check your bag with your dildo was nestled tightly to an object that screamed, "I'm a blast at parties." Simply writing, Troy's advice is by no means backed by substantiated fact, but TSA has never asked me to explain my unique gadgets, or the dildo in my carry-on baggage. Rant Complete I am not enthusiastic about aisle seats. I don't particularly care for strangers. I found my seat near the end of the aircraft, and the four seats to my left were empty. They also remained empty when the Captain announced they would be closing the doors, and we would be departing in thirty-minutes. I thought I had just won the lottery. Then I seen a mother, Crib-Midget, and Mini-Human approaching. There were four seats, and only three humans, but I felt that someone had just kicked my puppy. Dear Reader, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Everything has it's place, and I match everything when I dress. I iron and hand my clothes the day before I wear them. I take great pride in my appearance. My OCD-alarm was pinging when I seen them approach. The Mini-Human was likely around ten years old, and carrying the largest drink Starbucks ever made. They forcefully made their way to their seats, and the Mini-Human plopped down next to me. He set his frou-frou drink down on the flimsy tray-table, and then started jostling around. I take Tylenol PM as soon as I sit down on an international flight. Sleeping is my way of time traveling. I found myself in a dilemma. My body was telling me to close my eyes and visit the sandman, but my brain was forecasting a catastrophe. Mini-Human Jostling Around Sloppy, with the reflexes of a cat and speed of a mongoose, catches the drink as it's about to tip. Mini-Human: Sorry. Thank you. Sloppy: No problem. Second Time My reflexes are starting to fade, but the cup nearly tips off again as he plays video games on a handheld device. Mini-Human: Sorry. Sloppy: No problem. Please just watch it though. TIME TRAVEL (Thirty-Minutes) I wake to a very cold sensation on my brand new pants. There was chilled coffee, delicious caramel, and whipped cream all over my crotch area. My facial expressions clearly frightened the Mini-Human, but I knew it was an accident. I told him it was okay. However, I was forced to wait until we got to "cruising altitude" before I made my trip to the bathroom. I was forced to sit and just let the frothy goodness embed it's deliciousness into my outfit. Cruising Altitude and Failed Un-dirty Clothes (FUC) Sloppy returns to slumber. I don't recall exactly how long I was sleeping, but I was out-to-the-world. I awoke to a stewardess frantically shaking me, and telling me that I need to address an immediate issue. Stewardess: Sir. Sir. SIR! Sloppy: (Groggy) Yeah! Stewardess: Here. You're baby is crying. Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My kid is crying. Sloppy: (Groggy) I'm so sorry. Sloppy is now holding the last thing anyone should trust him with; another human life. Sloppy Brain: Wait! Wait! Wait! You don't have a kid. Well, you do, but you don't have a baby, or kid on this flight. Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am! Stewardess turns! Sloppy: This is not my baby. I don't have a baby. Sloppy motions "HERE! TAKE KID NOW" gesture. Stewardess: I am sorry, but I can't. Sloppy: What? Stewardess: I can't take the baby. Where are the parents? Sloppy looks at empty aisle seats. Sloppy Brain: Great! Fucking great. You're dream of an "empty aisle" came true, but know you don't know where the mother of this screaming child is. Dear Reader, I have a baby cradled in my arm like a football, and I don't know where the endzone is, and spiking a football-sized human is not generally a socially acceptable practice. I need to "Heisman" this kid, but had no earthly idea where the mother was, aside from being on the airplane of course. The plane was a great place to start though. Contrary to what many people would assume, I love the Middle East (ME), and predominately Muslim countries. I love the food, and I love the people. I have a disdain for Muslims whom initiate the lead jellybean exchange with me, but I would have that problem with Christians and Atheists as well. I generally dislike anyone who wishes to expedite my shelf-life by way of supersonic paper-cuts. There are cultural customs that make finding an absentee parent difficult during an international flight, specifically burkas. The mother was a "ninja," and wore a head-to-toe black burka. I literally didn't know what she looked like. Further complicating my location effort was the fact that she was not alone. There were at least another hundred ladies that shopped at the same Dooey & Burka store. Stewardess: What was she wearing? Sloppy: That! Looks! Stewardess: (Puzzled) Is that her!?! Sloppy (Fuck. My. Life Face) NO! She is wearing a black burka. Aside from that, I don't know what she looks like. Stewardess: My god! This is gonna be challenging. The stewardess was firm on her stance of not taking the Crib-Midget, but she thankfully assisted during Operation Find Unattended Kid Mother En-route (FUK ME). We, but mostly me, woke up at least thirty people before finding the mother's ass planted in Business Class. I can only imagine what the other ninja ladies thought when I asked them... Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me? Is this your child (Extends human outwards)? There were a considerable amount of "NO" answers. Worse? Some of the people did not speak English. I wonder what was going through their minds. Dramatization Sloppy: English. English English English? Translation "Would you like my child?" "I found this "thing" next to me. Is it yours?" "Free Baby! Piping hot Free Baby here. Get your Free Baby." The stewardess had a long conversation with absentee-mother, and she returned to Coach with the rest of the animals. I couldn't see past the eyes, but she looked angry with me. Not only did I rat her out for her stealthy move to Business Class, but I passed off a crying human. Dear Reader, the rest of the flight was uneventful. The landing and hustle at Kuwait City International was anything but. I was familiar with the layout of the airport, but I was low on time. I had decided to take another attempt at washing my pants. I entered the nearest bathroom and found a line of men, and they were all washing their feet in the sink. I get it. I understand why they were doing it, but there is no "wait in line" in the Middle East. You, like an asshole, push your way to the front and skip everyone else in line. It's "a way" in the United States, but is not "the way" most Americans practice "wait in line." I got sick of standing in line after about ten men budged. It was my turn. Sloppy: Excuse me. I was in front of you, and I am going to... He looks me up-and-down, and then it happened. Male: At least I didn't piss my pants. It was perfect English, but I didn't have the time to explain that I didn't piss myself. I just rolled with it. The second cleaning attempt was just as fruitless as the first cleaning attempt. The only thing that made my trip better was chaos in Beirut International (BEY). I arrived, and managed to beat the rush through customs. I was then greeted by a nearly seven foot tall giant named Jimmy. Jimmy: Whoa! Did you piss your pants? Sloppy: Not yet. Long story. I have to piss before we roll. I was more than familiar with the layout of this particular airport, but I was paralyzed with piss-pain. I could barely walk, let alone run, to the bathroom. Jimmy: Ahh. I will go hold up the line. It was an odd statement. I was not certain how Jimmy would, "hold up the line," but I would soon find out. The bathroom at Beirut International is immediately to the right after you depart customs. However, it's the size of a small closet. There are two urinals, and one toilet stall. The spacing between the urinal and opposite wall is no more than four feet though. Again, think long, but narrow closet. I continue the agonizing pee walk and I am a bit disappointed when I see a large line forming near the bathroom. There was "loud chatter" that I didn't understand, and some clearly disgruntled humans. I rounded the corner and nearly pissed myself. Jimmy was in deed "holding up the line." Jimmy's back was firmly planted on the wall to the right, and a flowing stream of yellow piss was arcing across the room, and landing in the urinal to the left. Jimmy was peeing from wall-to-wall. Nobody was going past urinal number one without receiving a golden shower. Jimmy: (Smile) I got you man. Come in. I'll pinch her off. Sloppy, like Moses (Kind of) parts pee stream and proceeds to second urinal. I take a look to the left to get a glimpse of the chaotic line at the entrance. There were loud grumbles of displeasure, but, then I seen an old man. The old man was at least 70 years or older, and his face went from scowl, an onto smile. He then started to clap and I congratulate Jimmy's technique. Old Man: (Laughing with Arabic Accent) Bravo. Bravo. Sloppy: That was fucking brilliant. Jimmy: Yeah. Didn't think you wanted to wait in line. Pulling out a gun would have been too much, so I figure peeing across the room would work. Sloppy: Good to know for the next time. That's that Dear Reader. Not an ordinary Military tale, but it was the oddest Military travel tale I have had. I "pissed my pants" with coffee, which ruined them. I was handed a baby that was not mine, and then forced to conduct a Ninja-hunt. I was accused of pissing my pants by men who were washing their feet in sinks. I was then accused of pissing my pants by Jimmy, and then Jimmy saved the day with four feet of arc pissing that was superbly executed. I'd like to thank the Army for this tale, because I don't know if Joe Civilian has experiences like this. Fucking Army! Cheers, Sloppy
Not a proper one, like, but somewhere to discuss tonight's feast of football [live on BBC Scotland] Morton 20 McAdams 2 Ledger 3 Fjortoft 5 McGinty (C) 10 Nesbitt 12 Orsi sub 11 Oliver (58m) 14 Salkeld 16 Strapp 17 Lyon sub 6 Jacobs (82m) 19 Colville 21 Omar sub 15 McGuffie (73m) Morton Subs 8 McAlister 22 Easdale 27 Hynes 28 McGrattan Dunfermline 1 Owain Fôn Williams 2 Aaron Comrie 44 Paul Watson 5 Euan Murray (c) 3 Josh Edwards 16 Steven Whittaker 11 Ryan Dow 15 Iain Wilson sub 8 Kyle Turner (67m) 23 Dom Thomas sub 21 Fraser Murray (76m) 14 Lewis McCann sub 7 Kevin O’Hara (82m) 10 Declan McManus Dunfermline Subs 22 Lewis Mayo 24 Kerr McInroy 26 Matthew Todd 20 Cammy Gill (GK) Referee: Steven Kirkland 1m - First half kicks off. 41m - Chance for Dunfermline. Something kind of sort of happened! Dom Thomas hits a cross in which the keeper oddly chooses to punch. That's it. 45m - Half time. HT - BBC pundits desperately scrambling to find something to say about this alleged football match. 46m - Second half kicks off. 55m - Almost a chance for Dunfermline, but not really. 56m - A moment of decent quality, nice shot by McManus from about 25 yards, keeper knocks it wide to his right, good save. 59m - Sub for Morton, Orsi replaced by Oliver 60m - Wilson booked, didn't see why 63m - Ledger shot dragged about 15 yards wide. 67m - Sub for Dunfermline, Wilson replaced by Turner 73m - Sub for Morton, Omar replaced by McGuffie 74m - Pars have a decent chance after keeper rushes out of goal, but Thomas shot is blocked by defender Ledger 75m - Bit of a stramash in the Morton box, but comes to nothing 76m - Sub for Dunfermline, Thomas off, replaced by Fraser Murray 79m - Turner blazes over from distance 80m - CLOSE! McCann shoots from edge of the box, just wide. Corner given, wrongly, but comes to nothing. 82m - subs for both sides. Morton - Jacobs replaces Lyon. Dunfermline - O'Hara replaces McCann 86m - Dunfermline looking for a penalty, claiming handball. Corner given. 87m - Billy Dodds picks Steven Whittaker as MoM. 89m - half chance for McManus at the near post, but easy for the keeper 90m - 3 minutes added on. 93m - Full time. Thank Christ.
Final Update - Caught wife trying to cheat with my friend from her iwatch
My original posts were deleted so I’ll post them along with the update(Wed 2nd Dec)for context. Tuesday 27th October I’m writing this from my phone so bear with me if it’s formatted wrong. So last night my wife of 7 years decided to have a chill out night. After dinner she went to the den and was watching her programmes while I flitted between watching the spurs game(football/soccer)and doing some odds and ends that I had planned. Next thing I know she’s got the wine out and has had two bottles of the stuff. At around midnight I went to check on her and seen she was out cold on the couch. I went to scoop her up when her iwatch thing buzzed and a message popped up on the screen. It said something along the lines of “haha I can’t do that my name would knock 7 shades of shit out of me :p :p”. I wondered what the fuck that was all about so I pressed on it and it was a conversation between my wife and a friend of mine. Now I wouldn’t say this guys a close friend of mine but he’s someone I’ve played 5 a sides with for years, drank with and have known since we were teenagers. We used to call him jacket holder because when we got into scraps as teens he’d always be the guy holding the jackets while everyone else went for it. Right so as I said I pushed on the conversation while this thing is still attached to her wrist and scroll up to the top and as far as I can tell it’s him that contacts her first(unless she’s deleted). There’s lots of flirting and wink winking going on but nothing that you could outright say was cheating, then I get to last night and when she’s drunk she starts openly begging him for sex I couldn’t believe my fucking eyes. I’m paraphrasing here because I can’t remember the exact words but she was saying shit like how much she had always wanted him, how no one would ever find out if he did want to do something and the last one that fucking killed me...that she was great at keeping secrets. I tried to scroll on her watch but couldn’t find any other messages and I don’t know her phone pass code. I put her in her bed and just sat in the kitchen in shock until I fell asleep...then got up for work about 5.30. When I went to get in my work van I just slunked down on the wheel and realised I couldn’t face it so I went back in the house grabbed a half drunk bottle of vodka, filled to the top with coke and went on a walk down the railway line(we live beside a lot of woodland and a disused railway line that goes for miles and I’ve walked about half the length of it. I’m sitting under a railway bridge like a fucking troll right now just seething at the whole thing. You’d probably think there’s a fire going from about a mile away due to the steam coming out of my ears. So what do I do? I don’t want to speak to her, I can’t even bear to look at her after reading that shit it was like a dagger through my heart, I just feel like every morsel of love I had for her has evaporated into thin air after reading her begging like that...fucking yuk. I honestly want to ghost her man, if I could I would never speak to her again. The whole I’m great at keeping secrets was the thing that really got me though like who even are you? It reeks but it’s a case of how far down the rabbit hole do I want to go? I don’t care if I’m being honest I’m just done...I’ve never felt so betrayed and disgusted in all my life. The thing is I’ve invested so much in her not just as a partner, but as a person. I loved her so much and thought her personality and by extension my personality reflected that of good people. To realise she’s a backstabbing snake makes me feel like a snake, I feel like a worse person than I was yesterday. The only way I can describe it is for someone you looked up to, took advice and life lessons from to suddenly find out they were a pedo or a rapist or just a downright creep...you’re entire perception of yourself and who you are would be shattered, because you’ve took on board what they’ve said and invested time into a creep. God I’m rambling nonsense I apologise. I’m lucky in that our house is owned by my parents, who 6 years ago moved to a retirement village and we moved in. The house will be bequeathed to me when they die but I don’t and hopefully won’t own it for a long time. They couldn’t be bothered with the upkeep and all the problems etc and wanted to see out their final days in peace so when we do divorce my soon to be ex won’t be getting her hands on it. So what do I do then? I’m honestly thinking of just not saying a word and throwing her right out. Also while walking here it went through my mind to get my mate who’s a locksmith to quietly change the locks today(i could feed her any old garbage about something from the doors being broken, she won’t care what’s going on anyways, as long as I’m about). Then after he’s done lock the front door and tell her to come out and look at something out the back, when she comes out just run back in and lock the door behind me. That sounds childish as fuck doesn’t it? Ach seriously though I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I’m staring at a bottle right now and my life feels like it has been ripped apart at the seams. As for that prick so called friend of mine, there’s no doubt he was up to something here. There’s also no doubt I wouldn’t have caught wind of this at all so I’ll be seeing him very soon, never mind holding jackets he’ll be holding his face. TLDR- Caught wife trying to openly cheat on me with someone I considered a Friend from her iwatch. Edit to update - Have went to a friends house to calm down, I threw the vodka away. She has been texting me asking where I am as my work van is still in the drive way. I text her saying there is a problem with the engine so I got a lift into work...I’ll make my move tonight. ———————————————————————————————— Wednesday 28th October Thank you to everyone who reached out to me after my first post, was really appreciated. So yesterday after I had written the post and was in a complete mess, two dog walkers came over to check on me as I was obviously concerning them. I told them everything, they listened and the first thing one of them said to me was “son, the worst thing you can do right now is drink, it’ll cause carnage”. I have to thank her for that because I was on the highway to hell at that point. I threw the vodka away, got in touch with a friend and he said I could come to his for a while to calm down(he was at work but told me where the spare key was)...we live in a small town of around 15,000 people and he wasn’t too far away so once I got there I sat on his couch just trying to calm down. Throughout the morning I was getting multiple texts and phone calls from my wife asking where I was and what the hell was up as my work van was still sitting in the drive way and I was no where to be seen. I text her back telling her that there was a problem with the engine so I got a lift into work which she seemed to buy as she just text back saying ok. When my friend got back from his work at about 5 o clock I told him everything that had happened and asked him his opinion. I also told him not to tell anyone about jacket holder as that might then get back to my wife which I didn’t want at this point,I would deal with him later. By that I mean I’ll expose what a little rat he is, knocking fuck out of him doesn’t help me at all as of now. As an aside to the people saying he done nothing wrong, he messaged my wife first, he was being extremely flirty...what the fuck is he even playing at messaging my wife for in the first place he only knows her in passing, from afar...Look I’ve got no problem with two adults conversing with each other but they hardly knew each other and it was flirty from the start(as far as I could tell). I think they’ve seen each other while out and about and it’s gotten flirty then. So my friend convinced me to try and keep a low profile, and see what I could dig up but at the same time speak to a Lawyer and get the ball rolling in terms of finding out my options(which I have done today). He took me home about 6 o clock and I was honestly dead on my feet by that point, I think the adrenaline pumping the entire day then suddenly stopping knocks it right out of you so I was extremely tired when I got home. The second I walked through the door I knew something was up as my wife was on me right away asking me all sorts of questions about work, i asked her why does she even care? She said that I’d left my big flask and my lunch bag in the front passenger side seat and something’s been up today, she could feel it. I was about to lie but I was just too tired, I couldn’t be bothered putting any sort of charade up so I just said yeah there is something up, that when I was putting her drunk arse to bed last night a message came up on her iwatch, which I read...and all the other ones...and that she was a fucking disgusting cheat that i wanted nothing more to do with. Her demeanour went from an arms crossed person in power to scared little girl within about a second. Good at keeping secrets eh? Begging that little rat for sex eh? Yep, read it all. She started sobbing and I just walked away and upstairs into the shower. When I got out she was sitting on the top stair crying still and the excuses started right away. How she was drunk, vulnerable, had never done anything like that before, how he had messaged her first and it didn’t mean anything, she was never gonna go through with it. Pretty much everything that everyone on here was saying she would say, like she had the playbook out. The only thing she didn’t do was try and blame me, she probably knew I would’ve thrown her right out the door if she had tried that shit. I told her that I wanted a divorce and her out of the house within a month. Also told her that she was moving to the spare room. I’ve been pretty much ignoring her ever since just scowling at her and shaking my head when she starts waffling nonsense, I don’t want to hear it. She slept in the spare room last night and I haven’t spoken to or texted with her at all today. If I’m lucky maybe she’ll be gone when I get back from work but my lucks not that good I suppose. On getting her out though I was telling my parents what was happening and my mother was adamant I wasn’t throwing her out on to the streets. Her and my mother are close and always have been(we’d have been together 11 years in December). My mother was saying she made a mistake and that we should sort it out like adults, that we’ve been through too much together and that she didn’t actually do anything it was just words. She completely took her side over mine, couldn’t believe it. Could this fuck me here? Like do I have no right to ask her to leave if my mother is against it? It’s literally gonna be my house when my parents pass and I did nothing wrong so I’m not leaving. It’s probably gonna turn into war of the roses part 2. I managed to get myself an appointment with a divorce lawyer for next week so I’ll be going to that to discuss my options. Until then I’m just gonna ignore my soon to be ex wife I guess. I know she’s probably not gonna admit anything else now, I’ll never know if she was a really good liar or she was just talking shit to him to get him onside with her for an affair. Anyways sorry about the delay in the update, Just got the chance to write it now as I’m finishing work. Well back to the funhouse I guess. ———————————————————————————————— Monday 16th November Hi, I thought I’d give an update since a lot of people have been personal messaging me asking for one. It’s now been 20 days since I found out my wife was trying to cheat on me with my friend and the situation has become hellish. I gave her a month to get out and she’s been sleeping in the spare room but it’s clear now she doesn’t have any intention of going after she got in the ear of my mother. She doesn’t have anywhere to go at any rate but that’s not my problem. I’ve seen my divorce lawyer multiple times, and am now in the process of drawing up a divorce petition and having my wife served divorce papers. I’ve also opened my own bank account and taken 50 percent of the balance from our shared account. The atmosphere around the house has been weird to say the least. The living room has turned into a no-mans land where no one frequents as we both spend the majority of our times in our rooms(I’ve also intentionally been working late a lot so I don’t have to interact with her much). I had been completely ignoring her but after reading about the 180, have started implementing that and been civil if a little cold towards her. I’m so glad I did this as I was beginning to feel like a monster refusing to acknowledge her existence, it was not the right way to behave and I ended up feeling like the one who had wronged her, rather than the other way about. The only time I broke from the 180 was when I walked into the bathroom last week and she was sitting on the floor by the bath crying, I helped her up and instinctively gave her a hug though it was more of a ‘there there’ type hug than one with much love attached to it. The sad thing is that I’m so suspicious of her now that I wouldn’t put it past her to be waiting on me coming in so she could put on a performance. The thing is that probably isn’t even true, but this is the sort of shit that’s going through my head in this environment, it’s just toxic. She’s been crowing about how she’ll do anything and everything to save this marriage, anything to prove to me that it was just a silly mistake, so I brought up a lie detector test. I don’t plan on ever getting one done, wouldn’t even know where to start, I just wanted to gauge her reaction. She was all for it...well until a few hours later when she came to me, tablet in hand, going on about how inaccurate they are...and that anxiety and nervousness can throw up false readings...and with her and her anxiety disorder an all. I just laughed, wasn’t even a normal like chuckle either. It started as a bit of a cackle and ended in a childish giggle. It appears she would do everything to save this marriage...well everything except take a lie detector test that is...hmm. It doesn’t even matter anyway, I meant what I said in my op, every morsel of love i had for her dissipated into the atmosphere after I read her say those horrible things. I don’t see her as my true love anymore, the person I could tell anything to and would trust with my life. I just see trash, trash that needs taken out before it stinks the place up. Jacket holder has been the talk of the town since I exposed him to our friend group a few weeks back. It’s safe to say he has no friends left among us, and has been completely ostracised. I tried phoning him a few times but he refused to answer then blocked my number. Fuck that little rat I hope it was worth it. I’ve spoken to my mother multiple times about this and during a heated argument asked her why she was taking my wife’s side, like was there something she wasn’t telling me here? What was she expecting? Us to live like roommates? Go on like nothing happened? It’s ridiculous. She said she has always seen my wife as the daughter she never had but always wanted, my mother had a stillborn daughter before I was born and it has haunted her, so she latched on to my wife and has done since we got together. As I said previously, they have a close bond. The fact my wife doesn’t have any family and only a few friends who have their own busy lives and families means if I threw her out she would be all alone and my mum thinks that’s unacceptable especially during a pandemic. She tried to get me to come to a compromise saying that in 3 or 4 months we can look at it again and see where we are mentally and is pushing me to try couples counselling before I throw in the towel. I’m not doing that, the thought of being in the same house as my wife over Christmas makes me feel ill. She’ll want to do it right as she does every year and it’ll be a complete shit show. My Dad, God love him, has never been much of a talker. Never up nor down just always there. He’s a quiet, proud but timid man and my mothers word has always been the one that matters in our house. People on here have been telling me that I’m selfish and spoiled cos it’s not my house and I have no right to make demands but it’s now a case of my wife or me for my parents. If worse comes to worst then I’m ready to walk out the door and never come back. Fuck this house, I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror with some semblance of self respect and someone has to keep their word in this debacle. If I do leave, my friend has said I can stay with him for a few weeks or so til I get myself sorted. If I do walk out that door though, I’m done with my parents, I’ll never speak to them again in my life. They’ll probably see it as me giving up on them, me walking away without trying to at least have a go at fixing things first. I see it as them choosing someone who broke my heart over me. Like what will be the logistics of this once I’m gone? Just her staying there herself, my mother and father looking after a backstabber while their flesh and blood goes off alone? A little more info on the house, my parents let us move in a year after our wedding, it was an apparent belated wedding gift...although that was just the chatter from them at the time, they were always planning on moving out and moving us in. I’ve spent tens of thousands on it over the years but that’s neither here nor there. I have fantasies of leaving this all behind, going somewhere new and starting again, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I’ve lived in this town my entire life, it’s all I know. Am I being too harsh here? I’m literally ready to slingshot my parents right out of my life but I feel so torn. Why am I the one who has to lose everything and everyone? I’ve tried to be good, and I always thought you make your own luck, and that good things happen to good people. Maybe I’m not as good as I think I am, maybe I deserve all I fucking get. —————————————————————————————————— Wednesday December 2nd Well since this morning I no longer call that house home. I seen on the calendar that my wife had a hospital appointment with her ophthalmologist, so knowing she would be gone for few hours I took that as an opportunity to get my stuff together and move out, which I have. After getting my things moved and sorted, I just put the house keys on the kitchen table, along with the divorce papers I received from the divorce lawyer last week and was on my way. I’ve blocked both my wife and mothers numbers and any communication I have with my wife going forward will be done through my lawyer. In terms of my living situation I’m staying with a friend for a week or two but hopefully I should be in my own rented place before Christmas. I haven’t spoken to my parents in a few weeks, last time we spoke, was via text and I tried to tell my mother, in explicit detail, the things my wife was saying during her texts to jacket holder. Why it hurt me so much, and why I didn’t think it was her first time doing it with the whole “I’m good at keeping secrets” comment and thus could never trust her again. My mother text back saying she couldn’t speak to me when I was like this, and she would let me “cool off”. She tried to phone me a few days ago and I just blanked her call and as said a bit further up, since today have blocked her number. I feel so let down by my parents and at this point, it almost feels worse than the original betrayal from my wife. The way I’m feeling right now I don’t think I’ll ever speak to them again. I think in times of strife, you look to your family to be strong for you, to be a rock and give you...the wronged one...support. My parents have been weak, they’ve made me feel like the one in the wrong, like I’m overreacting, and it’s me that’s ripping this family apart, well it’s not. I didn’t ask them to move mountains for me, just move my cheating wife out the house and they made their choice. My father also had the chance to put his foot down for once in his life and stand up for me, but didn’t. You make your choices and you live with them I guess. Reading some of the comments on here from my previous posts, people have been saying things like - I threw in the towel so easily, I was looking for a way out and didn’t love my wife because I didn’t try hard enough to save things but that’s not true. I loved my wife more than anyone on this earth and I was broken when I discovered what she was doing. I think we all have boundaries, and once those boundaries have been crossed things change irrevocably. When I read those horrible texts, something changed inside of me, I fell out of love with her, like being snapped out of a spell in the movies. Anything tried after that is just delaying the inevitable. I have to say that I’m interested in the whole dynamic of their relationship now that I’m gone. Like are my parents gonna continue supporting her knowing that it has finished their relationship with their son? As for me, I’d love to travel! My wife hated flying so most of our holidays, had been to southern England, the likes of Newquay and Torquay in Cornwall and Devon so would be great to travel abroad again. The last time I was abroad was when I was 20 for a mates holiday in Greece so 13 years ago. I’d love to see a bit of America so once this pandemic calms down I’ve definitely got my sights on the states. Well that’s about it for me I guess, this’ll be my last post as I don’t want to outstay my welcome and I don’t think there’s much more to say at any rate. If you want to see how I’m doing down the line shoot me a dm and I’ll try and keep you in the loop. Thanks for reading, Bye
For most people highschool rushes by in a complete blur. Later in life, those four years are reduced to a handful of memories, and those memories get blurrier and blurrier the older we get. But not for me. Not one memory. The summer between my junior and senior year in highschool was one the best, right up until the end. Three weeks before the beginning of the year, the varsity football team left for a week long training camp. It was pretty vigorous, with two- and three-a-day practices throughout, but it was generally a good experience. Bonding with new friends, sharing down time with old ones, and grinding through the strain with teammates. By Wednesday, I was exhausted. Most of the guys were still up, talking loudly and boisterously about girls, beer and cars. Three topics seniors in highschool always pretend to know far more about than they actually do. Normally I’d’ve been right there with them, laughing and yelling far louder than any of us should. Tonight I was just too damn tired. I walked out of the showers and past the break room, the ruckus still ringing out down the hall, and straight to the bunks. There was one large bunk room for the fifty or so players on the team. The room was packed with rows of bunks, all a bit closer than any of us would have liked. When I got to my bed, I dropped my towel and put on a pair of comfortable gym shorts. Leaving my towel on the floor, I collapsed face down on my bunk. Between the hard labors of the day, and the fresh, warm feeling from just stepping out of the shower, it couldn’t have taken more than thirty seconds for me to fall asleep. When I awoke, the lights had been turned out and gentle snoring could be heard from all around. Anyone who’s ever slept in a large group of people knows the setting. It’s...oddly comforting. Like nothing could go wrong while you’re all together. But I was quickly going to find out that it could. I think it was about 2 am? I’m not sure, I just wanted to get back to sleep before morning practice. When I first saw something move, I assumed it was just the light playing tricks on me, like when a coat hanger looks like a hooded figure standing in a corner. It wasn’t until I tried to move my head to get a better look that I realized that I couldn’t. I tried to roll over, tried to sit up, wiggle my toes or fingers; I was paralyzed. That’s when I saw it again, like a shimmer, but instead of light, it was darkness. Almost like small wisps of entirely opaque, black smoke. Then something materialized out of it. It looked human, but not quite. It consisted of the same black material and stood about 5-6 feet tall. It was far too thin, with elongated, bony limbs, and knobby joints. There was no face on this creature. As I stared at this creature slowly moving through the room, I saw another moving just behind it. Then another. And another. The room was full of them. I watched them shuffling around the room, slowly, but as if each had somewhere specific to be. One by one, each of these shapes found their destination and stood over a bunk. As they stood, they would lean in, pressing their face right up against that of the bunk’s occupant. I couldn’t see what they were doing or what was happening, but it was so unnerving that my body screamed to move, run, flee, escape. And I couldn’t do anything. That’s when I saw mine. The figure slowly walked up the side of my bunk and paused before slowly starting to lower its face towards me. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t, all I could do is stare helplessly back. Right before the hideous thing reached my face, it stopped. It was frozen for a second, my mind screamed in complete animalistic fear, stuck in fight or flight, unable to do either. Without any warning the creature recoiled in horror, bringing its hands, if you could call them that, up to its face as it stepped back. I looked around the room. All of the things had turned and were looking at me. They all turned as one and began making their way towards me, slowly, in the same manner as before. They closed around me from every direction, each inching closer and closer and closer. When I could see scarcely anything other than their horrible faces, I heard them speak, like a whisper, but overpoweringly loud. “This one can see us.” Then they closed in, and all I could see was absolute blackness. I jolted awake, a cold sweat covering every inch of my body. Coach had flipped on the lights and was yelling at groggy players to get their gear on and get outside. I got up and pulled my equipment on. I was the first on the field since I didn’t have any trouble waking up. Throughout the practice I managed to push it out of my mind as just a nightmare. The rest of the week went by in a blur. Having chalked the unnerving experience up to nothing more than a scary dream, I soon regained focus and started working my ass off. That kind of hard work made the days go slow, but the week go fast. Before I knew it, we were on the bus back headed home. I sat near the front of the bus with a couple of friends. Having put the grueling week behind us, we were thoroughly looking forward to getting back to our last couple weeks of summer. And then on to our senior year. We felt on top of the world, talking about anything and everything. To be honest, when I really think about it, I can’t remember anything we actually talked about. Really the only thing I remember is looking up out the front of the bus and wondering why the truck in front of us had turned around and was facing us. That was the last thing I remember. I woke up six days later in a hospital bed. The bus had been struck by an oncoming semi, the driver had fallen asleep. I had lost the use of both of my legs. My football days were over, but it was my last season anyways. Feels wrong to complain since I was the only one who survived the wreck. It changed my life. My senior year came and went, I didn’t take much joy in it with all my friends gone. When I graduated and wheeled across the stage, the ceremony paused for a moment of silence for everyone that was killed. Out of those fifty four people, I was the only one there that day. I went on to graduate from a state college, nothing too special. I met an amazing girl while I was there and we married a few years later. We had two kids, a girl and a boy, and have given them an amazing life I like to think. I settled into a decent job too. It wasn’t great, but it allowed me to support my wonderful family and give them enough for them to be happy. It took me a couple of years, but eventually I regained the use of my legs, albeit pretty limited. I’ll never run again. All things considered, I think I’ve lived a pretty normal, happy life. I never thought about that dream much more. I later learned, through some random conversation, what sleep paralysis is. Having something to describe what happened to me so perfectly pushed any doubt from my mind that it was ever anything more than an ill timed nightmare. That was close to twenty years ago now. This weekend, I’ve taken my family out to a one room cabin for a vacation. It was supposed to be relaxing, but I’m sitting at the table with an old, but familiar cold sweat, and staring at my family with a creeping fear. It had been twenty years, but last night I saw them again. They stood over each member of my wonderful family, then turned as one and stared deeply into me, their faces split across by a white, toothy smile that stretched the whole width of their faces. This time, none of them came to me. This time, they already knew. And this time, they didn’t speak to me. And then they were gone. Sometimes, silence is worse.
Match Thread: Republic of Ireland vs Bulgaria | Nations League
Lineups 0: Bulgaria kick off, and away we go! Randolph eventually kicks it out for a throw in. I see our very own Matt Holland is on commentary! 1: Jesus Christ we nearly concede immediately! Bulgaria got in behind but the pullback wasn't there. 6: Sorry lads, dodgy stream tonight. Brady swings in a free and Duffy misses the ball. 7: Collins loses the ball, Bulgaria break, but Manning gets back to cover. Knight makes hay through midfield and wins a free in our half. 10: Robbie Brady, what the fuck was that. Tries to play Collins down the channel but that was a shite ball. 11: Kevin Long gets a booking for fuck knows what. 16: Not much to update on so far, we haven't been able to keep the ball. 18: CURTIS NEARLY SCORES!!! Ball given away in the Bulgarian box, he shoots, it's deflected.... and Collins is inches away from tucking it home. Horgan fucking blooters the ball out of play from the corner. Swings and roundabouts. 21: Ooooh, Ireland looked tasty for a second there. O'Shea, to Knight, to Hourihane, to Brady, to Manning... cross goes nowhere. Manning gets booked shortly after for the crime of winning the ball. 23: Shane Duffy with a hospital pass out of the back. We're so fucking lucky Bulgaria messed that up. 26: AGAIN Ireland play out sloppily from the back and Bulgaria get a shot away this time, but Mr. Randolph saves comfortably. 28: Fucking hell, Curtis chopped down by Cicinho. Whistle had gone and all. 30: It's now 10 hours since we scored an international goal. Collins tries to reset the clock but it's headed clear. 32: A familiar refrain; Brady swings it in, Duffy gets his head to it, heads it wide, and lies on the floor looking disappointed. 33: Bulgaria nearly score! Manning makes a last ditch tackle when it looked odds on for our night to get even worse, and Randolph smothers the danger. 34: Bulgaria corner, Ronan Curtis heads clear with his luscious locks. From the follow up, it's headed over for a goal kick. 36: Hourihane...... boots the ball out of play. There have been better days to mod this sub. Ireland win a free tho. 37: Brady swings in a gorgeous free.... Collins and Duffy somehow both contrive to miss it and it bounces all the way to the keeper. 39: Oooh, so close!! Daryl Horgan with some gorgeous play on the right, dinks a lovely little cross in, and Collins heads over. 40: Darly Horgan only has one eye open. I swear to fuck, if he has to go off... HALF TIME Any moths? 46: We're back! Dara O'Shea floats in a cross that James Collins heads over. Still, nice to see us try. 50: The phrase "you'd see better football in the park on a Sunday" gets thrown around too much these days. But Christ lads, this is beyond amateur. 51: Manning swings a dangerous cross in and the keeper catches it handy enough. That was fun I guess. 53: Personal highlights for me over the last few minutes include Hourihane slide-tackling in thin air and Robbie Brady somehow contriving to lose the ball from an excellent position. 54: COLLINS ALMOST SCORES!!! On the volley from a cross from O'Shea, he hooks narrowly wide. 56: RONAN CURTIS ALMOST SCORES!!!!! Jason Knight marauds through the final third, plays a gorgeous ball to Curtis who's wide open..... and it's miles over. 57: Jesus Christ, Darren Randolph. (Actually, upon reflection, that was some decent footwork. Stick him up front. 60. We fuck around at the back and Bulgaria get a shot away. They stick a few subs on. I'm tired Robbie. 63: Marcus Harness has the most beautiful eyes. 66: Josh Cullen ready to come on. Bulgaria corner, and THEY NEARLY FUCKING SCORE AHHHHHH FUCK 67: Horgan off for Cullen. 68 ROBBIE BRADY WITH A FUCKIN WORLDIE OFF THE CROSSBAR. Great ball by Cullen to set up that passage of play. 71: Floated in by Collins and Curtis can only just get his head to it. 77: Josh Cullen, with the Aviva midfield lying open in front of him, falls over. Robbie Brady being treated for injury. Jack Byrne is warming up. 80: CHANCE: Hourihane swings it in and Knight has the ball nipped from his toe with the goal gaping open! 82: Manning's got the ouchies. 85: Cyrus Christie, Seani Maguire and Troy Parrott come on for James Collins, Ryan Manning and Ronan Curtis. 88: Jack Byrne swings in the corner and Dara O'Shea can't do anything with it. 90: Five minutes of added time, God bless this ref. Ireland are kinda knocking at the door. Ish. 90+2: The lads seem desperate to score, to be fair to them. Parrott looks to be through but he's offside. Full Time. 2020 has been a miserable year for Irish football. Thank you all for your unending support. Here's to a brighter 2021!
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College Football Week 11 Betting Odds and Picks - YouTube
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