When: 2014 or 15, probably April
We roll into Vegas after dark, my friend Jerry driving, I riding shotgun, my then wife rolling around in the back of the ruby red '94 Ford Aerostar on the mattress that replaced the seats.
We are dressed in what can only be described as Trailer Park Hippies. Jerry wears sweat pants (he wore a lot of sweat pants back then), a striped shirt, beanie, and square-frame glasses, as he's blind as a bat. My wife is dressed like a bag lady, a tye dye "Workaholics" shirt, ripped jeans, America Hat beanie hat worn ironically over dirty dreadlocks, and I'm wearing a a lot of flannel and sporting a fiery red Leprechaun beard and hair down to my shoulders.
We have a stash that would make Hunter S. Thompson shed tears of joy. We're cruising in with a few ounces of weed, a tinfoil wrapper full of hash, a 10-strip of LSD, an eightball of coke, case of lite beer, and a laundry basket full of oranges and grapefruits acquired in Arizona.
We had been living off of coke, grapefruits, acid, beer and cigarettes laced with hash.
We were young and ready for what Vegas had to offer.
Jerry drives past The Flamingo and we keep going on to Fremont Street. That is our destination, and we plan on milking it for all the free drinks we can.
We drive around for a minute before noticing a $5-all-night parking lot. Perfect. We figure after we get too wasted and broke, we'll just come back and crash in the back of the van.
Jerry, it's always Jerry, cuts up one hit of acid into three little pieces and passes them out.
Jerry then keys up bumps of coke for everyone.
My wife, DD, rolls a nasty hash cigarette and we roll out of the van and smoke it on our way down to Fremont Street.
The thing about taking a little bit of acid is, is you can drink all night. A half hit of acid and you're ready to drink an Irishman under the table. I can't explain how or why it works, but it does. 1/3 of a hit should do the same thing, and we're feeling good.
Vegas is your typical Vegas that I had expected. There's a Danny DeVito impersonator here, a Boss Hogg there, big-titted Showgirls lined up ready to take your money for a photo. Street performers, some of them fantastic, some of them sad. There is a nearly naked man waving a sign that reads, "Money Activates Me". I put a dollar in his hat, and he starts jiggling and shaking and making weird beeping noises. I am a little sad.
As soon as we arrive on Fremont Street I look up to a giant television prompter on the ceiling with Blue Angels flying across while "America the Beautiful" plays over the loudspeakers. I walk past a large Mexican woman wearing all purple.
Jerry tells us that they'll give you free drinks if you play the slot machines. We decide to investigate and pop into the first casino we see. We each slip a dollar into a machine and a waitress comes over and tells us, "make it at least $3, guys". A little saddened, but compliant, we do as we're told.
We spend the next few hours like this. Hopping from casino to casino, putting in as little money as possible, getting as many free drinks as possible. After awhile, it gets tiresome and we spot a crowd heading towards the far side of the street and decide to investigate.
All night we see this horrible Wook-like creature and he has come up to us and asked us for different drugs at least three times. DD must've taken the biggest 1/3 because her pupils are the size of nickels. The first few times he asked for acid, then he asked for DMT. I had never done DMT at that point, but from what I had heard, it would do him no good here. We think he's a cop. We ignore him.
Drinks in hand, we see what the commotion is about, Cheap Trick! is playing a free show. Hell Yes, we think. We push our way to the entrance and are told we cannot bring the drinks in. We each chug our beers and make our way in.
The crowd at Cheap Trick! is rude as far as rock concerts go. It's a bunch of people way more sober than us and they won't let us pass. We're standing shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder with a group of angry looking bikers and decide that Cheap Trick! can go fuck themselves.
We exit the concert and walk to the other end of Fremont Street.
There is another free concert going on, an 80's cover band with the singer dressed like Devo and the bassist wearing stuffed animal pants – that is, Pants covered in stuffed animals. There are only about 20 people in attendance. We're so there.
We walk to the front without any problem and begin our own dance circle.
They have two vocalists, a hot French-looking chick and a man dressed as dollar store Devo.
Jerry thinks French chick is looking at him.
The bandplays a rousing rendition of "Blister in the Sun" and during one of "When I go walkin I strut my stuff and I'm so strung out/I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out" parts, Devo guy holds the microphone out to us and we gargle through it.
He shouts for the band to stop, wait, hold on. Stop stop stop.
"You people are the drunkest people I have ever seen!"
Too drunk to be embarrassed, we continue to dance. We dance until they stop playing.
The acid at this point has all but run its course and the booze is catching up with us.
DD is starting to lose steam.
We decide to drink more.
Walking into a casino, the overhead television plays "America the Beautiful" again as Blue Angels fly and Purple Pants Mexican lady is walking by us again, singing, "Uh-MARE-i-KUH" and crying profusely. She is having a good time.
Unsure of what time it is, we're too fucked to gamble anymore and head to the bar. We attempt to order the cheapest drinks and the bartenders all ignore us.
We get our $2 teas, (“Hold on, I have to make three shitty drinks” quoth the bartender) and walk back outside to get some air. Vegas is starting to spook me out.
People walk down the street and flick a butt, unnamed janitors come from nowhere and sweep it up like it might never have happened. Vegas is like a physics problem. The cigarette butt is like Schrodinger’s Cat. Without the janitor, it may or not be there.
As the night drags on, we see human decency deteriorating.
Having made our way somehow to The Flamingo, we scope out a group of guys who we believe are going to date rape some girl who’s had too much to drink. Maybe it’s the acid enhancing our perceptions, or any of the drugs making us ever more paranoid. Maybe those guys really were out to hurt that woman. We followed them all for some time before realizing we were fucked up and it wasn’t our fight. We needed to get back to the van to sleep.
We make our way back to the van and roll the door open. DD plops down on the mattress, but Jerry and I are determined to gamble and drink more. I promise her I’ll be good.
Just right then two SECURITY dudes on bikes roll by and see the mattress and see the hippie lady sitting upon it. “Y’all can’t sleep here.”
I inform them, but sirs, we paid the $5, and we are way, way, WAY too drunk to drive at this point.
“That’s fine, sirs” he tells me, “but you can’t sleep here. You’re welcome to gamble in our casinos all night, or get a hotel room.”
DD raises her voice to the security dudes and I have to tell her to cool it. We’re out of our element. This is Vegas. We can’t win this one.
I tell them, ok, and they ride off.
I’m too fucked to drive so I tell Jerry he’s going to have to rally and get us out of here. We all begin chugging water, our eyes rolling around in our heads, brains still slightly dripping from the acid.
We’re all yelling at each other that this was a stupid idea. Jerry chugs an adequate amount of water and he climbs into the cockpit. I ride shotgun. We got this.
We drive around aimlessly til we find an indoor parking garage that doesn’t charge us a fee on the way in. We drive to a heavily populated area and kill the engine. Jerry and I fly into the backseat and we keep our heads down, trying to find sleep in what’s left of the night.
We get two hours of sleep when I decide we have to go. Right now.
I think I’m cool to drive, so I start out our journey. The sun is right in my face as I’m leaving and I’m way too hungovestill drunk/fucked up to be doing this. I stop at a gas station for a fill up and on my way in I see a man just grinning at me. I’m in no mood. Who is this asshole just smiling at me at 6 o clock in the morning?
Turns out it was a cardboard cutout of Jeff Gordon. Jesus. Christ.
I pay for my gas and get back to the car. I tell Jerry he’s driving, and I need to sleep.
We drive a few minutes and pull up to an Airstream Diner and decide to fuel up our bellies. The whole night in Vegas we didn’t consume any food, just drugs and booze, and we were in need of nourishment.
We sit at the counter and the man with the plan is an older Hispanic man who appears to be running everything by himself. I order an omelette, toast and hashbrowns, and coffee, sweet, merciful coffee. Biscuits and gravy for Jerry, with “grandma coffee” (that is coffee with too much cream and sugar). DD got a stack of pancakes.
When our food came, the proprietor asks DD if she would like any syrup? She holds her plate above her head like an offering to the man and says nothing. He laughs and asks again what kind of syrup would she like? Blueberry it was.
A little food in us, we begin to feel better.
We hit the road, California Bound! I resign to the mattress in back and pass out, Jerry driving, DD his copilot.
I awake some time later to the sound of metal grinding on metal. The van is moving against its own will.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
Jerry is throwing it in reverse and trying to back up but the damage is already done.
We are in line waiting to cross into the great state of California. I see a sign for “Fruit Inspection”. I look around the back and there’s grapefruits and oranges and peelings and all kinds of citrus just rolling around. We’re fucked. If not for the coke and hash, then for all the fruit contraband.
I try to gather up all the citrus, but when it gets to be our turn to cross, the guards at the window tell us simply to pull through to deal with our accident.
What luck. A wagonload of drugs and illegal fruit and we get a pass because some Rent An RV guy decided to rearrange my van’s front end. Sweet.
We pull through and pile out of the van. I inspect the damage. It’s mostly cosmetic. The plastic bumper is gone, both headlights are smashed and dangling by wires. The blinkers are fucked. I will be using my arm signals for the rest of my van’s life.
I walk up to the RV and pound on the door. An older, Eastern European man, noticeably drunk and shoeless steps out. I ask does he have insurance (I miraculously do). He says yes yes yes, sure sure sure. Why don’t you come into my RV?
No, I tell him. Good out here.
He disappears inside and comes back a few minutes later with a stack of papers, none of which are insurance. After a few minutes of going nowhere, I decide to call it even. I don’t want to attract any attention to us with the cops and would rather just get down the road, blow and all.
The four of us get into our collective vehicles, the Chechen's relatively untouched; ours, a sex crime victim, and we set sail for the promised land - Californ-I-A!
I'm trying to assemble a selection of stories. Heart on Sleeve. Don't be too rough. With love, and honesty

12/4 Update - Latest AFK Update changed how redemption codes work. I have added a link to the new external webpage for the codes, but as of writing this the website has been under maintenance for some time so I would not recommend starting the offer until the website is working.
This post chronicles the Swagbuck Discover game offers that I've played. Information about different games have now been separated into subposts. This was necessary because I was hitting post character limit. Unfortunately you need to do a little more navigating, but maybe it'll be easier to consume.
For those who are new to Discover offers or feel less comfortable with mobile games, in the following list I have marked easier offers with "(Beginner)". Items marked with "(Beginner+)" are on the easier side but with a bit more complexity. I also recommend reading this post I made on taking screenshots prior to starting an offer to help in the case of an offer not automatically crediting.
Here is a brief list of the games. Click the section header links to navigate to that group's subpost.

• Kingdom or City Builder Games
  • King of Avalon
  • Rise of Kingdoms
  • Pirates of the Caribbean
  • Lords Mobile (Beginner+)
  • War and Magic
  • Chief Almighty
  • State of Survival
• Hero Collecting games
  • Raid: Shadow Legends
  • Clone Evolution
  • AFK Arena (Beginner+)
• Casino Games
  • Pop Slots (Beginner)
  • Huuuge Casino
  • Billionaire Casino
  • Club Vegas
  • Star Slots
• Other Games
  • Coin Master (Beginner)
  • Strike Bowling
  • Hexa Jigsaw (Beginner)
  • Harvest Land (Beginner)

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Other items to note:

• I am an Android user. The offers below may only be available for Androids. I will note when they are for Android only when I see that in the disclaimer.
• I have not spent any money to complete any of the following games.
• I always recommend having accounts with multiple sites that have offer walls to compare offers. Here are some other sites that I have accounts at and have also done offers at:
  • GG2U (most recommended) (Ref | NonRef)
  • RewardXP (Ref | NonRef)
    • Full Disclosure: Full Disclosure: I have only used this site for one game so far and have not yet cashed out. They have a low Gift Card and PayPal cashout amount of $5. They sometimes have higher offers then Swagbucks and GG2U, but I do find that they are more of a 'third option' out of the 3.

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New In-App Feature (Android Only For Now)

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You may have already seen this, but Swagbucks has recently launched a new way to earn SB that is only accessible via the Swagbucks App and currently only the Android version. This new feature is called Playtime Rewards. It awards you SB for just playing games. There are no levels to reach or achievements to collect. This feature looks to have just come out a couple days ago, but here's what I know so far:

1. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A NEW USER
   1. This is SUPER important because it means that you can do a Discover Offer for a game, uninstall the game, reinstall the game through the Playtime Rewards, and earn more SB for playing the game more. If you download a game via the Playtime Rewards that you haven't done a Discover Offer for, you become ineligible for the Discover Offer. Order is important!
2. The apps available varies from user to user
   1. The apps available seems to be based on the games you currently have installed and how much time you have played them. It uses a "similar to your favorite games" rating. When I first opened Playtime Rewards, the two games offered to me were Coin Master and Pop Slots. My husband only had State of Survival, which he was bummed about. He downloaded some casino games he had already completed offers for, put in some time on them, and is now getting some other casino games on his list (but not Pop Slots which is frustrated about).
3. The amount of SB earned will change as you play the game
   1. The rewards start really good at something like 4 SB for each minute. It wont stay that good for long and will become less per minute. Still, in one day I made over a dollar playing Pop Slots pretty minimally, so not bad.

And that's all I know so far. Swagbucks doesn't even have Playtime included on their Help page last I looked. I had been considering picking up Mistplay recently, and I am glad that I don't need to do that now.
How To Access: Make sure you have the latest version of the app. Go to Discover and you will see a Playtime Rewards tab. For me it replaced the Fyber offers tab.

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Future Games

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Games In Progress

These are the games I currently have in progress:

• Me - None, scouting

Games I've been Advised to Do

These are some games that others have commented are easy and worth doing. They are on my To Do list.

• Final Fantasy
• Scatterslots
  • oh joy....another casino game....but I'll do it....eventually....
• Neverland Casino
  • sounds like this one is like Club Vegas where you can't put it on autospin and need to have some interaction now and then. Not sure if I can handle doing that for the huge level 500 offer, but maybe I'll tackle a level 200 or 300 offer...

Games I've Been Advised to Avoid

There are some games that are generally not worth the time and effort or are near impossible without spending money. This is a list of those games based on the Swagbucks sub:

• Game of Kings: Lvl 22 Stronghold (see post)
  • This game might be removed from this list. Most offers are currently for Lvl 21 stronghold and it seems like this is do able given the provided timeframe (see post). If you are interested in this offer, I would recommend looking at GG2U since currently their offer is $5.50 more to reach the same level (see post on new GG2U offers)
    • I have not removed this from the list as of yet because I recently saw someone post that there isn't a way to redeem offer codes anymore.
• Epic Summoners: 7* Hero (see post)

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Interested in other ways besides Swagbucks to earn side cash? Checkout my write-up on other App and Sites for Side Money . I would highly recommend GetUpside and Pei, if nothing else. I earn about $2-3 in cashback per gas fillup with GetUpside for 30 seconds of my time.

Just realized I never posted this. I posted all of these write-ups over the course of the month of April in the Daily Discussion threads, here they are compiled for your reading pleasure.

• ”All The Way” by Ledisi

Ledisi is one of those people who’s big in the r&b/soul sphere that runs perpendicular to the pop scene but doesn’t quite make the area of intersection, which is a shame because she’s golden voiced and releases great music. This song is about the desire for an all encompassing love that loves her “all the way,” complete with a delicate string arrangement and that slow burn classic drum/piano, and she sells the hell out of it. It’s the kind of overly romantic song that usually gets labelled as wedding fodder, but when it sounds this pristine that’s not even pejorative.

• ”Arrived” by Jessi from UN2VERSE

This is standard “badass rapper boast” track but she manages to avoid (too many) cliches and elevate the song with synth drenched sonics. She has a very laid back flow that bleeds nicely into her raspy singing and it sounds great; this song just feels good to listen to, it’s very easy on the ears. She sounds like an absolutely fierce queen but there’s also a heartwarming little twist on the lyrics during the bridge that keeps the song from just being empty swagger.

• ”Biggie Smalls” by Cupcakke from Queen Elizabitch

This cut from Queen Elizabitch addresses the daunting topic of body positivity and knocks it out of the park. Her lyrics are layered and inspiration, using clever wordplay to take shots at the more toxic aspects of our beauty obsessed culture in a manner that’s simultaneously tactful and sassy. Her delivery is as fiery as always and the way she just attacks her bars works really well with the beat and the message of this track.

• ”Deliver” by Fifth Harmony from Fifth Harmony

On their final album Fifth Harmony felt mature enough to handle how horny their music was, and without Camila’s hurricane of runs in the mix they had to rely on confidence and charisma rather than just volume. Case in point: “Deliver,” a Mariah-esque r&b track that sees them spitting flirty lines over a smooth arrangement of piano/trap/finger snaps, is possibly the most addicting song in their discography. The song is really written to play to their strengths, giving them material they can handle and allowing each girl a moment to shine.

• ”Digital Girl” by TOFIE

The manifesto of TOFIE’s “2D music girl” persona, the song puts us into the mind of a pixelated girl living in a computer screen who wants nothing more than to make you happy. If that sounds overly saccharine… well, that’s the point! “Digital Girl” is pure cuteness, just sugary vocals sprinkled over an airy foam of synths with all manner of quirky sound effects layered in to make it that much sweeter. She fully embraces the anime-core style without losing that firm pop edge that makes this a song rather than just empty aesthetic. But the aesthetic isn't half-bad either.

• ”Diving” by Bridgit Mendler (ft. RKCB)

It’s hard to believe it’s been three years since Bridgit Mendler last released music… Actually no it’s not, it sucks and I want her back. Still, “Diving” wasn’t an awful note to go out on. Her brand of smooth “submersible” pop is as hypnotic ever, drawing you deeper and deeper into her world with every repeated refrain. She sings this song in a kind of strange place in her voice (like, right about where it breaks) but it makes the song so intimate, like she’s whispering in your ear.

• ”Empty” by Olivia O’Brien

“Empty” is an exploration of depression in the age of partying. It’s tempting to roll your eyes at this pretty white teenage girl rapping about how much life sucks, but the song actually works really well because writing and delivery on this song feel so painfully honest. It’s as edgy as it is relatable, packed with straightforward but true lines and a chorus that will have you screaming along with tears running down your face. It’s a cathartic track that just lets you pour your frustration out, maybe not the healthiest song to have on repeat but one that we all need every now and again.

• ”End Of The World” by Kelsea Ballerini from Unapologetically

Unapologetically tracks the journey of Kelsea from a breakup to a new relationship, and in this journey “End Of The World” signals the end of the breakup songs and the beginning of the love songs. It’s a big, beautiful song about the moment where she realizes that what she’s going through isn’t the end of the world, and allows herself to open up to love again. I love the way the melody rises and crests as the drums collapse down on her like the sky is falling, it really makes you feel like she’s pushing through the end of the world.

• ”Falling For A Lullaby” by FEMM

“Falling For A Lullaby” is propelled by wiry synths and an intense beat, but once the chorus hits and they introduce that dolphin-whistle synth it goes to a whole other level. In general the production has a very edgy vibe which matches the abstract lyrics that describe dreams, fantasies, and power struggles. They don’t really make sense (what does “falling for a lullaby” even mean?) but they sound cool and give the singers a lot to play with. FEMM just demolish the vocals, they sound so intense and their harmonies and riffs on the bridge are the best of their career.

• ”Friends” by Count CounselloJoy Anonymous from & The Friday Friends

This is a big electropop song with a really nice groove to it, I’ve seen it compared to The Talking Heads and it feels kinda Imagine Dragons-esque to me. It starts off kinda slow, just some repeating loops of music, but about a minute and a half in it just explodes into this huge chorus and then the party keeps going until the end. There’s so much power in that simple, shouted out “I wish we were friends again” that keeps me coming back for more.

• ”Girl’s Talk” by Chuu & Yves (LOONA)

The video for Chuu’s debut solo single “Heart Attack” depicts her as a young woman hopelessly in love with her group member Yves, so it’s appropriate that the single’s B-side should be a duet between the two, and while it’s not the out and proud lesbian duet one would hope for it’s still a delightful song. Musically it’s a swirling disco duet, with Chuu and Yves trading breathy lines over some really tasty guitar licks. Despite their repeated insistence that “it’s all about you boy” there’s an air of mischievousness to the track, a bit of a hair flip and a giggle. What does that mean? It’s just girl’s talk. ^gay

• ”Jackpot” by Dorian Electra

Dorian Electra really blew up last year thanks to a Charli XCX feature and the critical reception of Flamboyant, but I think a lot of Dorian’s pre-Flamboyant work is unfairly ignored and it’s a shame because they gave us some gems like “Jackpot.” It’s a fairly straightforward synth pop song but that’s not a bad thing, and it’s easy to hear hints of the hyper-pop sound that Dorian would later find success with. There’s a kind of cheap, almost sleazy feel to the song that’s definitely intentional and a lot of fun, and the neon tinged Las Vegas casino fantasy music video is one of my favorites from them.

• ”Kids” by Lia Lia

This song has been stuck in my head since 2017. It’s the kind of song that creeps up on you, Lia Lia never raises her voice and the instrumental is fairly low-key, but the song is so instantly memorable. The stuttering drum machine contrasts nicely against her gentle voice, which helps both elements really pop. It feels like she’s threaded the gentle melody through the noise around it and the effect is almost hypnotic.

• “Quit You” by Lost Kings ft. Tinashe

Tinashe said she cried for two days when the label forced her to release “Flame,” which is understandable for many reasons. Obviously the label was mistreating her and preventing her from releasing the r&b music that she wanted to make, but also she had already released a better version of the song earlier in the year? "Quit You," her collaboration with Lost Kings, is also a fairly straightforward ‘80s influenced synth pop song but strong writing and production have made it memorable years later. It has a very “2017” vibe reminiscent of some of the older stuff by The Chainsmokers. It’s easily digestible fun with an aggressively catchy melody and a great drop to spice it up.

• ”I Hate Love” by BNNY RBBT

Listening to this song the immediate reaction is “this is bizarre” but the more you listen to it the more hypnotic it becomes. The soporific autotuned vocals, the contrast between the softer elements (the bells and synths) and the harder ones (the drums and guitar), the bluntly edgy lyrics, they’re an eclectic mix that feels very unique. He strikes an interesting balance between darkness and sweetness, his music and aesthetics seem very dark but his melodious voice and a strange sense of gentleness undercut that. Interestingly we also have the demo for this song (which was found geocached behind a cafe) which in a weird sort of way I almost like better.

• ”Lost in the Wild” by WALK THE MOON

When I first heard What If Nothing I instantly pegged that this song would be a huge hit. I was wrong, of course, but I stand by the sentiment. This is the slickest foot stomper WALK THE MOON have put out since “Shut Up And Dance” and if there were any justice it would have received at least a fraction of that same success. WALK THE MOON are a true band, and every member is firing off on all cylinders here. Every part of this track is just so damn good; the drums, the guitars, the bassline, the synths, any one element could easily carry another song on its back but they stuck them all into the same track and the result is sheer euphoria.

• ”Love Story Wa Totsuzen Ni” by TWINKIDS

This song is a cover of a hugely famous Japanese song, and while the original is charmingly retro, this is sleekly modern. TWINKIDS give the song fresh life with trendy electronic production but the almost vaporwave vibe they go with helps it retain an air of nostalgia. They transform the song into a swirling duet and add plenty of bubbling synths that give a lot of layers to the song while still respecting how great the original melody is. They mesh well with the source material: they give it a more modern twist, it ropes in their tendency to get too ambient, and the end result is a really cool track.

• ”Not About You” by Haiku Hands

Though they aren’t exactly huge, Haiku Hands definitely made an explosive debut with this song. An electro-rave track, this song seems to be made up only of speaker pounding bass which the girls shout quotable lines over. What do the lyrics mean? What is the song about? Why are they yelling? That all seems secondary to the irresistible energy and bratty attitude that flow from the song. There’s an undeniable style to Haiku Hands, an air of effortless cool that’s a little unusual, but very refreshing.

• “Reflection Of A Disco Ball” by CeCe Peniston

2017 was the 25th anniversary of the legendary hit “Finally,” and while CeCe celebrated that she made sure to drop a new song to remind the kids that she’s still got it. This is such a carefree song that invites you to dance all of your problems away in the club, and the chorus is definitely an earworm! It’s got a groovy house beat (of course), a string section, backup singers, everything you’d want and expect from a diva like CeCe. While it’s not destined to become a classic or anything, it’s a great throwback to that ‘90s house sound and a wonderful shot of fun for fans of that era.

• ”Sass Pancakes” by Ashnikko from Sass Pancakes

Ashnikko makes what I affectionately term as “super villain rap” with an alt-pop twist characterized by heavy beats, braggadocios lyrics, and a slightly fucked up perspective. “Sass Pancakes” is a madcap monster of a track, starting off with an ironic sample of an old pancake commercial before Ashnikko bursts onto the track and describes some decidedly unwholesome things. Her flow is fantastic for the textured beat and she delivers a lot of fun, memorable lines with charisma. The song just has such a wild, unhinged energy that’s kept me coming back to it even years later.

• ”Slow Dance” by Kelly Clarkson from Meaning Of Life

Kelly shows a different side of herself here, a sultrier one that I don’t normally associate with her but that she carries off very well. Kelly is known for her huge vocals but this song is about playing coy and the more subdued approach really works. She purrs out that invitation to slow dance, which is actually her way of rejecting this guy’s advances but she makes it sound so damn good you don’t even notice. The smoky production, which features heavy drums and a suggestive string arrangement, is really pretty and the perfect backdrop for her.

• “Someone To You” by BANNERS from Empires On Fire

The song is built around a simple (but relatable) sentiment that’s almost corny, but BANNERS is wailing his heart out and the music sounds so HUGE that it succeeds through sheer force of will. It’s just such a robust song. Everything about it is perfectly calibrated for maximum impact, from the smooth violin that gives a sense of forward motion to the background shouts that pop in momentarily just to punch up the chorus. Foot stomping, stadium filling guitar driven pop songs are easy to create a facsimile of but hard to master, and BANNERS managed to nail this one to the wall.

• ”Staring At The Sun” by Vanic (ft. Clara Mae)

Both Vanic and the singer bring their A-game and it pays off with a huge EDM banger. It’s a fairly straightforward track that compares looking at someone to staring at the sun, but the music elevates it to a whole new level. I love when the drop in an EDM song actually conveys something, and this hammering drop that seems to tear the world apart really captures how it feels to look at someone you find almost too beautiful to exist. There’s awe in this song, one could say it’s… awesome.

• ”Switch (Tom Swoon Remix)” by Iggy Azalea ft. Anitta

“Switch” is a nice little Latin flavored pop-rap track, but the Tom Swoon remix takes it to another level. He slows the tempo and bulks up the production with trap drums and tropical house beats to give it a bit more muscle, and both Iggy and Anitta sound much better for it. The real treasure is the drop he adds after the chorus, which takes advantage of the additional momentum he adds to give the song more of a climax and extend the already great chorus even longer. This remix just has this huge, heavy energy that I love.

• ”That’s A Man Maury” by Manila Luzon (feat. Willam)

Long before RuPaul’s Drag Race, the most common place to see drag queens on television was on trashy daytime talk shows like Maury or Ricki Lake, which would air segments like “Man or Woman?” Manila Luzon pays tribute to this era in her own unique way: she flips the infamous phrase “that’s a man Maury” around to describe a man who doesn’t care that she’s a drag queen! The relationship that the lyrics describe is full of details that are actually really wholesome, which grounds all the campiness in a genuinely sweet sentiment, and the smooth r&b melody with the sultry (shockingly un-autotuned) vocals actually work really well.

• ”Tokyo” by Truitt (ft. Light House)

This song is expertly assembled: the lyrics describe wanting to run away on an adventure with someone (setting the sleek Tokyo as the destination) and then a bouncy house beat and dreamy synths bring this wanderlust to life. The production is so smooth and clear, it feels like it flows into the ear like cool air, and the vocalist slots into the mix perfectly. I’ve looked into this “Light House” figure and I haven’t been able to find anything on her, which is a shame because I love her voice. She has that light, smooth quality that’s almost Vocaloid-esque, and her performance really takes this song to another level.

• ”Undercover” by Kehlani from SweetSexySavage

This song is built around a slick chorus that builds and builds until it slides right into the next verse, a neat little trick that keeps the song flowing and matches the cheeky lyrics. She describes this story of undercover romance so well it basically feels like reading a frothy little piece of fan fiction, just a frothy string of enticing moments. I especially love the acoustic bridge with its sly lyrics where she teases her lover, it gives another layer to the song’s overall mischievous energy. Kehlani’s ability to craft a catchy hook and then deliver it well always impresses me!

• ”What Do I Tell My Friends?” by Bree Runway (cw: the video depicts sexual harassment)

This song is off-the-wall maximalist, it starts off quiet and low but once that first chorus hits it’s an explosion of noise with rattling drum machines and expertly placed synth pads that just keep upping the ante until the song is over. She serves huge vocals that crackle with energy, her voice sounds kind of tight but I’m into it. There’s also some silly voicemails peppered throughout the track that give it a sense of campy melodrama. It’s a monster of a pop song, Bree has been gaining some traction lately but this should have made her a star back in 2017.

• ”Yours If You Want It” by Rascal Flatts

I don’t know if I can really call this “underrated” because it was a decent country hit and Rascal Flats are huge but it’s a bop and I’ve never seen it mentioned on here. It’s very well written, with a super strong melody and romantic lyrics that make great use of repetition. I find the straightforward, unironic sentiment of it to be very charming, kind of like a Nicholas Sparks movie. I guess sometimes… country good.
Here were the accompanying albums.

The results are in for Match 8. The winner is…
Autumn Miranda Jasper, with a score of 72 to Garland’s 63!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Autumn Jasper	22-18	Despite Autumn’s early lead, Garland rode the tide of the classic “PHD Curse” to catch up, ending the vote 5-4!
Quality	Autumn Jasper	26-21	Reasoning
JoJolity	Tie	24-24	Reasoning

With that, we must now sadly bid goodbye to Team Earth, Tower of Terra, the third team to be eliminated from Tournament 4. They slipped under the radar in Round 1, and didn’t win a single match Round 2, but their high-profile ties that round proved they were a force to be reckoned with, as did their very close losses this round.
Let’s take a moment to remember…

8th/7th Place: Darwin Glerman and Bhangra Mendhi - This duo got caught in a game of Tetris played by Oscar K Computer, and they just couldn’t clear their rows.
6th Place: Jianbin Zhuge - For all his talk about his ancestral heritage, he lost to an upstart Baroness in a ski chase worthy of a spy thriller!
5th Place: Professor Bernal - The horse-whisperer ended up losing her match betting on the Kentucky derby by default when she attacked her opponent.
4th/3rd Place: Colorado Blue and Mars - Mars spent her first round winning a jungle relay race, while Colorado was defeated by Mylo Xyloto in a battle on the rooftops of Detroit, but through a twist of circumstance was still given the opportunity to move on to the next round, where he and Mars lost a game of Brazilian football to a Prince and a “Hero.”
2nd Place: Robbert Chitter - One of the only ACT Stand-users in the tournament, in the first round he advanced to Round and ACT 2 by winning a relay race in the jungle with Mars, and just scraped by into Round 3 after a double-tie in Guatemala. Sadly, this round he fell to the forces of ｢m.A.A.d city｣ in Los Angeles.
1st Place: Garland - It was only fitting that one of the strangest builds in this tournament had one of the strangest, and most impressive, runs to get to this point. First he faced off against the All-American cryptic Spider-Vic in a daring art heist, and followed it up with a stalemate against the equally confident and capable Killian Keyes in the site of Electric Grapevine’s second defeat. And how else could someone like Garland go out but by being turned into a salmon and coming in second place in a race up a waterfall?

Tower of Terra may be out of the game, but their presence can still be felt… For example, one of their former opponents is currently fighting for his life against a “superhero?” in an under-construction train tunnel.
Scenario - Las Vegas, Nevada:
The rack was lifted up from the balls, and the cue immediately clacked against them hard, two of them sinking on the break. Connor stood up, examining the table state and running quick calculations. “Good job setting them out, Kris!” He cheered, clapping the younger man on the back as 「Megalovania」 bickered and cheered behind him, inaudible to the others at the small dive bar.
The other man, clad in a pool-patterned polo Connor had acquired for him, almost certainly with Ric’s eponymous credit card. “You want to switch cues?” He asked, three different ones that Connor had carefully coached him in the differences between. Connor nodded, taking one made of a slightly different maple wood than the first.
He lined up his shot, easily sinking two more balls, and grinning. “I’ve been thinking about the game.” He said, standing up and straightening his back.
“...Nine-ball?” Kris asked.
“Well, I’m always thinking about nine-ball, but I’m talking about the tournament.” Connor responded. “I had some things I wanted to talk with you about it.” He smiled genially at Kris. “How did you like your match?” He asked.
Kris pursed his lips, thinking. “I think I’d prefer to have won, sure.” He said. “But I got to show off my abilities, and I must’ve made some sort of impression!” He fished out his phone, showing off the screen. “I’ve been hanging around third place in the popularity polls, for whatever reason.” He gave Connor a hearty thumbs up, 「Under Pressure」holding the cues.
Connor returned it, setting up his next shot. “I’ve been having some fun myself. The match against that nice girl was some of the most fun I’ve had in years, and pairing up with Noriko was certainly a unique experience!” He easily sunk two more balls.
Kris nodded. “Yeah, she’s seemed a little friendlier lately… though it’s still hard to get a read on her,” he said, not seeming too bothered about it.
Connor examined the table. I’ve been looking into some things, but I think with all of the excitement I’ve been dealing with, I could go with something… a little more easygoing.” He moved around the table, looking at the last three balls on the table. “Things have been really intense lately, I suppose. I’ve had enough excitement for a while.”
Kris perked up, and snapped his fingers. “Oh! Connor, that just reminded me of something I was thinking about!” He tapped his phone, reading off something from the UU app. “I think this is a match all about bingo. You know, a bunch of elderly with blotters, only danger there might be is you having to fend off fans! I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”
Connor set up his shot. “Hmm. ‘Bingo’, you say? I’ve never played it before… I’ve heard some of the people who play it can be dangerous if you get in their way.” He shifted over a few millimeters, cue perfectly poised on the ball. “In either case, Kris, something like bingo sounds….” With an audible ping, his eye glowed bright blue as he took his shot. “Perfect.”
The sound of knitting needles clacking together echoed in the front hall of the ｢Bohemian Archive｣. A small fire roared in the fireplace. Nora had put the only two members of Oceans 11 remaining in the Archive to bed. She didn’t expect them to be getting much sleep at all, with how much energy Jack had to go through all of the information Hadrian and Demis had stolen.
Not that she could blame the two, she had only glanced at it, and there was just so much to dig through. Mountains of information, all of which could be put together, making a web of culpability to point to… something. She hadn’t had that long to look at it, after all!
“I’m really very proud of the boys,” she mused. “Jack’s really come into his own, I think. He’s really relaxed around me and Hadrian, and he’s been doing some just lovely work with helping us out. Buggy’s been doing well too, recovering at least.”
“Hadrian’s really made me proud. He just seemed so… hopeless, when I first met him. I don’t like that Niyaz fellow one bit, but something that happened in Argentina has changed him, and for the better! He’s such a lovely man at times, I’d hate for him to die before such an old fart as myself when I can help it!” She let her head back, still knitting up a storm, cackling.
Calming down, she continued. “As suspicious as the ARG is, I can’t help but feel fond of some parts of it. Hmm. I’ve been so busy with my investigations and all I haven’t actually had any time for myself, thinking about it!”
A moment passed. “Well, I am between investigations and all, I could take some time for myself. I could probably give my spot to Jack, but that wouldn’t be much fun at all, would it?” She barreled on. “I remember seeing a hint about a bingo match. It’s a little bit stereotypical, sure, but a bit of bingo sounds like it could be fun. Besides, I want to save some of my energy, it wouldn’t do to beat someone up, and I can hardly see how they can turn bingo dangerous… though with some of the participants of the blasted thing, I should never doubt.” She nodded to herself. “...Maybe Cal would be there too. I do hope so, Stand users attract other ones.”
“All things considered, I think I’ll be going out to do it, as long as it hasn’t been snapped up by someone else. It would do to get out of the Archive and have a little fun.” She finished.
Paracadute, knitting as well, with the care of someone new to it, continued. He sat across from her, in a black and white outfit that was at once extraordinarily high quality, high thread count, and comfortable to wear. Yet it felt as much a straightjacket as the one that Nora had trapped him in days ago. “That’s… wonderful to hear Mrs. Kleid. Absolutely lovely to hear you getting out of the Archive.”
He hesitated, looking away and asking meekly, “May I please go out of the Archive too, Mrs. Kleid?”
Nora smiled at him, one cheery and genuine. She simply responded to him, “No.”
The Casino Chiaroscuro. A glorious, old casino built in the late 1940s to cater to men coming back from the war, to emulate the glories of old Europe. A gaudy place, built in the heart of Las Vegas, it was nonetheless relatively small by the city’s standards, tucked away, somewhere that catered to older, more refined clientele.
Connor sauntered up to the casino, in his normal outfit. He hadn’t seen fit to show up to a Match in anything different so far, and he wouldn’t change it now. He made his way in, poking around the area and making his way to the bar. He was used to glitzy places, it’s where he’d done quite a few matches in his heyday, and now it would be a match of a different sort.
He ordered a soda and sipped at it, checking his phone every so often, waiting for something to happen. He was one hundred percent sure about the location, of course, so he could only wait for an opponent to appear.
After waiting for a few minutes, he heard a clearing throat behind him, a kindly but assertive voice, making itself known. “Hello, is this seat taken?”
Connor turned around to it, recognizing the speaker immediately and grinning. “By all means, take it if you like!” He said, patting the stool and going back to his drink.
While she was always impeccably dressed, a trip to the casino was an occasion for Nora to bring out her best. Without impeding any of the thief’s range of motion, Nora’s dress was long, reaching the floor, and dark blue in color. Completely knitted, and with regular words on it. KLEID, KLEID, KLEID, with a small telescope after each word, in what would have looked chaotic and arrogant without the sheer bravado that Nora exuded. It opened over her chest, showing off a black cardigan underneath with an incredibly realistic pattern of Neptune on it. Her hair was worn in its normal way, a small hat in a jaunty angle, large, knitted feather drooping off of it.
Connor nodded approvingly at her getup. “My, I feel underdressed for such esteemed company!” He marveled. Nora laughed, shifting around in her bag a bit and pulling out a woolen mass and tossing it to Connor. “If you can’t handle life without some Kleidiscope goods, here you go!” He opened it up, revealing a lavender vest with a subtle, mesmerizing pattern and “FAIRY FELLERS” embroidered on the breast in large writing.
She slipped into the seat, ordering some water as Connor excitedly put his new vest on. She sideyed Connor’s drink. “Soda, huh? Maybe I should come back in a few years when you’ve ruined your body with that, hm?” She jabbed playfully.
Connor pulled his coat on and carefully took another sip. “Well, I’ve been having soda since I was a boy, and it’s done a worse job at killing me than being hooked on booze would have. And I suppose you’re here to face me?” He paused. “Dear, I suppose we’re so familiar with each other through the game that I forgot how to be polite! My name’s Connor Pruckette, 9-ball champion. Mind if I ask yours?” He extended his hand.
Nora took it, shaking it heartily. “Lenoir Kleid. Everyone calls me Nora. Came here because I felt bingo would be funny for such an old fart like me.”
Connor swirled his soda. “A teammate recommended it to me, and I just couldn’t turn down a challenge!”
Nora’s smile turned menacing, seeming to look through Connor. “And my teammate is currently still recovering from some bullet holes where your teammate had shot him.” She said, frostily.
Connor immediately waved his hands. “Jeez, I wanted some relative peace and quiet. Hey, if you should blame anyone, blame the other sniper there. Sofia has had some… bad experiences with those folk, I’m sure she wouldn’t have been as...driven as she was otherwise.”
Nora stared at him a few moments longer, the tension mounting, and suddenly dissipating. “Surely. Well, I’m not facing her, I suppose.” She laughed to herself. “If ‘Sofia’ cares at all, Buggy is recovering well.”
Connor graced her with a genuine smile. “I’m very glad to hear that!”
The duo continued to talk, first about their teams, and then about their family. Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Nora talked about how she had dealt with the death of her husband, and Connor about how he was worried for some of his wilder grandchildren. Thirty minutes. Forty. They talked about their professions. Secret, forbidden nine ball techniques. How big corporations were ruining fashion. By the time their phones rang, they had spent a full hour at the bar together, enjoying each others company.
Nora and Connor instantly scrambled as one to open their phones, identical grins wide on their faces. The eponymous mascot of Urban Uprising, Andromeda, was on screen wearing a suit. It wasn’t as bold as Nora’s attire, of course, but there was a certain chic air to it: typical black tie attire, but adorned with her favored iridescent trim and a faint eight-pointed star pattern tessellating along the lapels and sleeves.
Before Andromeda could so much as open her mouth, Connor interrupted. “Howdy, Andromeda!” He said, tipping his hat a bit. “It’s been a while since I saw you last, how have you been?”
Andromeda paused, seeming caught off guard, after recovering gracing Connor with a smile. “Oh, I’ve been stellar!” She beamed. “I may have been off the air, but I’ve been doing some... restructuring of the way things are done a little. It’s been a busy time for the people who are helping make this work, but it’s all worth it to make things more fun for everyone.” She cleared her throat, whispering conspiratorially. “You’re actually the first contestant to ask me that, I think.”
Nora spoke up herself. “Oh, speaking of which, Andromeda, is Cal sill working for you?” Andromeda nodded slowly, waiting for Nora to continue. Nora thought a bit about her words. “...I suppose he’s still not ready to talk.” She said with a measure of sadness. “Well! Is he doing well, at the least?”
“Calendar’s been doing very well in the Admin work, yes!” Andromeda smiled softly. “And… he still apparently hasn’t called.” She clicked her tongue in disappointment. “I’m really sorry about that, I’ll try talking to him again. I can’t make him do anything, but you deserve better than this.” Her guard seemed lowered for a bit before she transitioned back into her hostess persona. “Let’s get into the Match!”
Connor and Nora listened patiently as Andromeda explained the rules, Connor speaking up once she finished. “Well… I can say I’ve had a lot of fun meeting you, Miss Kleid.” He and Nora stood up as one, carefully making their way over to the center of the casino. Eyes locked, stalking like predators.
“Dearie me.” Nora said. “I can’t help but feel the same.” Her voice carried an undercurrent of danger, as if she could kill someone with a glance, with her Bingo Intent. “I’ve just had a lovely time, and I’d absolutely adore spending a little while more with you.”
Connor’s grin simply grew, echoing a cockiness of years long past as Aggravated Intent To Bingo filled his own frame, invigorating him. “Indeed… I came here for a challenge, you know. Something to cool down from all the excitement. Tell you what.” They got to the center of the casino, facing each other. “‘Loser’ 🥈 buys the ‘winner’ 🥇some ‘drinks’ 🍻 and ‘beverages’ 🥤 to cool off?”
Nora slid a hand up her leg, leaving it at her hip, the other on her neck. She snapped into a pose, eyes and body burning with energy, as ｢Doll Judgement｣ appeared in a flash, its arms interlaced with hers in a dynamic, impossible seeming pose. “If you wanted a ‘challenge’... then dearie, I think you’ve found what you wanted. I just wonder, is it more than you can handle, dear?”
Connor crouched down, an arm sweeping in front of him, and around, the balls of ｢Megalovania｣ coming out from behind it He locked into a pose, Stand spread out around him and crouched down further than seemed natural. In an instant, he looked up at his opponent, eye flashing. “I guess we’ll find out…. Well Nora… are you ready to have a GOOD TIME?”
“Yeah!” With a vim and vigour contrasting the relatively sedate surroundings, Andromeda cheered out her signature line from their phones, fired up and clapping her hands enthusiastically. However prim and proper she looked in her suit, her excitement at what was sure to be a great match got the best of her. “Here we go...”
“OPEN THE GAME~!”
Location: The (fictional) Casino Chiaroscuro in Las Vegas, Nevada. There are three floors, on Floor 1 are the slot machines, on Floor 2 are the card and pool tables as well as where the players start, and on Floor 3 is a bar and lounge area. Each floor is 50 by 50 meters, 5 by 5 meters per tile, and there is about 5 meters between floors.
The marked red circles are stairway rooms with openings and exits on all sides, the orange squares are slot machines, the brown rectangles are poker tables, and the teal rectangles are pool tables, the purple circles are tables, and the green L shapes are bar counters with bartenders denoted by the orange circles.
The area is packed with people around the slot machines, tables and bars with a decent amount of people also just walking around so you may have to squeeze past people in the more crowded areas. Every game table has a fully seated game going, people are playing on both sides of the slot machines, and people are drinking at the bar counters and at tables resting.
The people have 222 Physical stats and won’t pay much attention to you, but will shove back if you try to push them to get to one of the objectives. The bartenders have 433 Physicals and 4s in Bartending, they will also try to prevent anybody else from trying to get back behind their respective bar counter, however they may not always be observant while serving drinks or attending to other duties.
Goal: Score a bingo before your opponent does! The stars are colored oversized bingo balls about the size of a softball and are objectives to collect to win the match with more elaborations bellow. The balls are all on the floor, the stars that are on the tables just mean that the ball is underneath that table.
In the case that neither player can complete a bingo with the tokens taken, the current balls will immediately deactivate, losing their color, and new balls will be placed in the locations. In essence, the game state is entirely reset.
While nothing necessarily stops you from harming your opponent, you’ve spent a lot of time getting to know them and you aren’t here to hurt someone. Seriously harming your opponent will lead to you RETIREing out of shame!
Additional Information: Both players have the same three by three bingo sheet, and for an easier time remembering, the stars are roughly located in the area they are on the sheet compared to the map. The Dark Blue star being in the top left corner of the map for example.
The balls have to be in the player’s hands in order for them to be counted. Balls may not be stolen once they are already counted.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Fairy Fellers	Connor Pruckette	“Hap-py Joy-py Yorupiku-ne~!” You're here to blow off some steam, so do so! Have as much fun as possible in your strategy, with a focus on smooth moves and flashy applications of your abilities! For bonus points, win of course, but help your opponent have fun as well!
Ocean’s 11	Nora Kleid	“Well in this case, everyone’s happy, so it’s fine.” You're here to blow off some steam, so do so! Have as much fun as possible in your strategy, with a focus on smooth moves and flashy applications of your abilities! For bonus points, win of course, but help your opponent have fun as well!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to R3 Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

2/4:
Took an early flight into LAS with friends. Was way too early to check into my room. Headed North on the strip from Bally's. Stopped at Margaritaville, tables were extremely crowded, even at about 8:30am. Decided to keep walking. Checked out the Linq and Harrah's. The tables were also pretty crowded, the staff reminded me it was the morning after the Super Bowl, which explains the crowd.
​
Finally made my way down to Casino Royale. My previous post it was suggested. They had a low limit table at 10$ and the table was just as people had explained to me. An enormous table, clearly seen a lot of mileage. A true testament to the classic game of craps. I bought in 120$, my friend who's never played craps had bought in 100$. I mostly do The John Boender Inside/Out Press/Regress initially using the field as coverage. It's a slow build strategy that I thoroughly enjoy. It feels pretty safe in regards to a low buy in, and I have the option to add odds as I please.
The table was extremely cold when we bought in. Immediately two shooters roll a point, seven out. Finally it's my turn to shoot. I always play with a hardway set, 5's on top with 3 and 4 face. I didn't really think about how much longer the Casino Royale Table was at first. Initially threw a Hard 4. Threw quite a few short rolls realizing that the table was much longer than my local casino. The dealers were nice, and had been dealing there for quite a few years.
​
At the end of my hot roll, which had to have been at least 20 or so. I had tripled my money. I always take down everything but the pass and add odds when I feel my luck has been pushed. I finally seven'd out and it was my friends turn to roll. He went about 11 rolls, I placed 6/8 and told him I'd cash out after his roll. He also did. I wanted to end on a high note for his introduction to craps.
​
Showed my friend the White Castle, and the foot long hot dogs at Casino Royale. By the time we got back to Bally's it was well past the Check in time. We had a nap and proceeded to walk the Vegas Strip at night.
​
We headed down the Strip South this time. Stopped at the Taco Bell Cantina to show my friends they served Alcohol here. It was their first time in Vegas. We proceeded to the NYNY Casino. I didn't like the 15$ tables. I was ahead on the first day, didn't want to immediately lose it. We drank and played slots for awhile, and headed to the Excalibur. Users had told me there was a 5$ table there and it would be a good place for my friends to learn more without risking too much. Table was cold as it could be. Only one winning was the don't player which my friends were curious about.
Bought in 120$, lost 80$ over an hour, decided to colorup and mess around on the Roulette table. I was pretty drunk by this point.
​
Took my friends to see the inside of the Luxor, then caught a cab back to Bally's.
​
2/5
Got back pretty late in the morning, so we all slept until about 2pm. Headed to Bellagio, wanted to show my friends the amazing Casino floor there. We only played slots there, I had won 80$ in my first couple spins and was ready to go. We then headed to the Bacchanal Buffet. After eating we headed down to Fremont St. I had never been there same as my friends. An absolutely amazing experience. Initially headed to Fremont Casino. Their table was crowded and the placed seemed a bit old. Headed to The D instead. The D was by far my favorite craps table during the whole trip. Dealers were friendly and a huge part of celebrating our wins. They were informative to a family of new players were next to me. They were very friendly with my dice setting. I had a hardways streak in which I was rolling 4's and 10's like no tomorrow. I had yet another hot roll and was enjoying the night, winning big as were my friends. On the third Hard 4 the dealers called the pit boss over. I was initially worried, then he simply told me to "Throw another one" When I did, he cheered with the whole table. It was clear to me that this casino cares more about their patrons fun than scolding a dice setter. The dancers by the tables games were a big hit with my friends. By far my favorite craps table.
​
Headed back to the Fremont around 1am. Lost 120$ there, the table was cold as all hell. The dealers there were no where near as friendly with my dice setting as The D. While they were friendly with their reminders to really hit the back wall(I was just not hitting the pyramids). I sensed they were getting irritated with me. Which I don't have a problem with, I was also pretty buzzed. Finished my game, tipped the dealers and headed back to the Hotel.
​
2/6
We had a late flight back home, so I figured we'd end where we started, Casino Royale. I bought in 240$, the table was a 5$ min on Wednesday. The dealers and pit boss were rather rude this time around. I had seen 4 people get kicked out off the blackjack table during my game. They were outright ignoring new players next to me asking questions. They were extremely rude to me while setting the dice this time around. A completely different vibe from day 1. Berating me "not to play with the dice" when I was setting them just as I was the previous 4 rolls. I had one roll where I landed an Easy 4. only one of the dice had bounced off the back wall. They reminded me to hit the back wall with both. I tossed out a dollar on each of the hardways, one of my chips had rolled across the table. I was met with a rather uncalled for "Really dude?" followed by a sigh from the dealer to my right. The stickman was the one to retrieve that bet anyways, this dealer clearly just hated his job. So I throw another roll, hard 10. This time I don't give a shit what the Casino has to say. They've showed their clear dislike of me and had no intention to change it. I was constantly apologizing for prop bets I threw rolling elsewhere, and they simply kept berating me and trying to make me feel bad for it. I was called "Unbelievable" when setting down my place bets and accidentally knocking the stack over with my sleeve. Mind you the stack was 10 chips tall and they had not rolled anywhere in this instant. Getting back to my roll, I had had enough of this Casino's staff. I got damn good at throwing hard 4's short during my stay, was certain this casino was gonna kick me off the table if not off the property. I tossed 5$ on hard 4 and a 25$ place bet and went to work. First Hard 4 was short, I told them to press both my 4's. second roll was a 9 which I also had placed, third was a Hard 4 again. In which the pit boss had reminded me to hit the back wall with both of the dice. My forth roll was yet another hard 4 at which the pit boss came to me and stated that both the dice need to hit that back wall, or I am off the table. I politely agreed and followed by taking all my bets down except for the pass with full odds on the 8. I slammed the dice against the back wall and hit the point. When hard 8 rolled, I immediately saw disappointment in the staff. All their heads tilted down and let out a sigh at the fact that a player was winning.
I was thoroughly disgusted with how the staff was that day. Instead of continuing, I asked to color up and pass to the next shooter. I was quite through with the dull attitude of their staff. I came out 338$ and still tipped them 8$. I could not believe how obnoxious they were. Every winning shooter was met with attitude while I was there. I took my money and left. I had told my friends about my experience. They both met me with similar stories about the bartender being rude to them. We headed to the Bellagio Fountains for a show and proceeded to the airport, ending our trip.
This was my first time playing craps in Vegas, I hadn't been here in a few years. Overall a successful trip and an unforgettable experience, especially at Casino Royale. I can't help but be happy I left 300$ up, and that most of the winning were from the Casino that was treating their players like absolute shit.
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If you made it through the post, thanks for reading! I just figured I'd post a followup from my initial post asking for casino suggestions. The D by far was the funnest most friendly place to play. Even the players were an absolute joy to be around.
Thanks again! I hope to see some of you at the Craps tables in the future!
-Kyle

Come join JENNY LEWIS in Las Vegas and LA to hear tales of childhood fame, dysfunctional parents and a 20-year singersongwriter career full of audio riches and heartbreaking wrenches. “You wanna blaze a doob outside, then I’ll shower?” she asks EVE BARLOW.
With arms outstretched: Jenny Lewis jumps for joy, Los Angeles, 8 May, 2019.
Photography Rachael wright Watch this!” says Jenny Lewis, sipping on a Modelo. “Take a visual of this for a second.” It’s midnight in Mandalay Bay’s casino, Las Vegas, and Lewis is exiting the House Of Blues where she’s just played the debut show of her tour for fourth solo album, On The Line. In the bar next door a band plays; a group of long-haired men whose bodies look beaten by decades of strife, yet their faces exude a purposeful passion. “Big wheels keep on turning…” chews the lead vocalist. “Carry me home to see my kin.”
They holler the chorus of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Sweet Home Alabama and Lewis marvels. “Oh my God. This! These are my people!” Lewis isn’t coming home to Vegas, though she was born here, sharing a birthday with Bowie and Elvis. Los Angeles has been her home throughout a 20-year singer-songwriter career, her second. Her first career was as a child actor. She met her agent aged two-and-a-half, bought a house at five and quit by 20. Highlights include starring in 1989’s The Wizard opposite Fred Savage and playing Lucille Ball’s granddaughter in Life With Lucy.
Tonight, she’s an extra in a different scene. “These are lounge musicians”, she says of Vegas’s Lynyrd Skynyrd. “A covers band. This is like my whole family: my parents, my sister, my brother.”
Unlike the tale of Sweet Home Alabama, Lewis doesn’t have much kin left. “Just my sister. And a shit ton of half-siblings.” Sister Leslie isn’t here, but will be at tomorrow’s LA show. Her dad died in 2010.
Eddie Gordon was a virtuoso harmonica player and absent. “He played Brahms on the harmonica – a prodigy”, she says. Her mother Linda sang in a ‘70s duo with Gordon, called Love’s Lounge. Eddie and Linda played at the Tropicana and the Sands, which has since been bulldozed. “Beautiful footage”, she says – of the bulldozing, not her parents.
Lewis grew up watching things fall apart.
It made her a great raconteur. Brother Steve lives in Minnesota. His 30-year-old covers band is called The Rockin’ Hollywoods. One night The Rockin’ Hollywoods played local bar Mancini’s. “In the middle of the set the drums stopped”, she says. The band looked back to find their drummer slumped over the kit. He’d died. It’s part of Minnesotan lore: Prince, The Replacements and this. What song did he die playing? “Footloose”, she laughs. “He died on his throne. His drum throne. God, I hope I don’t die on the fucking throne”, she says, meaning the toilet.
“What a terrible place to die.”
Her parents divorced and Lewis moved to LA’s San Fernando Valley where she still lives. Her first memory is in Vegas – of her babysitter Lisa holding her by the pool.
“Lisa was a female Elvis impersonator – called Ellis.” She chortles. “I’m not making this up. That’s the fucked-up part, I don’t make shit up.” Throughout her four albums with indie band Rilo Kiley, four solo albums, plus numerous side-projects, Lewis has never made shit up. She seems destined to outclass her family’s talents. “None of my peeps were writers”, she says. “They were song interpreters.”
That fate changed when one of Linda’s boyfriends taught seven-year-old Lewis piano. “The moment he taught me Phantom Of The Opera I took the chords and wrote about my dad.” For her 15th birthday she wanted an acoustic guitar but Linda bought her a red Stratocaster. “I was so bummed.” She studied her Beatles songbook, and another one of Linda’s boyfriends taught her Desperado by the Eagles. “I wrote five songs over Desperado’s chords. One was about my friend Camille. A dark tale.
I played her it. She goes, ‘Ugh, I hate this song.’ I was like, ‘Sorry!’”
Turns out, Lewis’s catalogue contains many such harsh facts, but for years fans assumed some of it was fantasy. When she sings, “Where my ma is now, I don’t know/ She was living in her car, I was living on the road/And I hear she’s putting that stuff up her nose” on Rabbit Fur Coat (2006), she’s singing about their estrangement. Linda used to spend Lewis’s earnings on heroin.
“When you’re a child of an addict there’s a dynamic”, she says of her premature adulthood. “But I rebelled at 15, smoked cigarettes, ran away, did acid at the mall.” From the age of 12 she was in Alateen meetings – AA for teenage relatives of addicts. “My mom was in and out of jail and rehab. I was dropped off at an Alateen dance thinking, ‘Maybe I’ll meet a cute guy!’
GETTY
Riding high: (clockwise from right) Lewis goes for a spin in her back garden, LA, 2019; acting alongside Fred Savage in 1989’s The Wizard; with Rilo Kiley, 2004. “When you’re a child of an addict there’s a dynamic. But I rebelled at 15, smoked cigarettes, ran away, did acid at the mall.”
I didn’t.” She beat a kid up at school when word got out that Linda was using. “You defend your family’s honour”, she says. “So I fucking clocked them.”
Linda died from liver cancer in October 2017: Friday 13th. Lewis was by her side for eight weeks after two decades of silent treatment. Since then, she’s been sharing more than ever about her parents. Why? “Well they’re dead, so…” she says, cuttingly. “Sorry. I mean that’s the rule. I’m spitting on their graves. I didn’t wanna hurt them. Now they’re gone it’s my story. The truth as I see it.” Before she was terrified of what she saw. “I was repressing. I was writing about it but didn’t talk about it. I let very few people in. I was afraid they’d leave.” She pauses. “And I am my mother, so…”
The inner child in Lewis is contagious. Before the interview, she’s smoking a joint in a parking lot with LA restaurateur Roy Choi – a can of La Croix in one hand, a copy of Eminent Hipsters by Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen in the other. She’s 43 going on 13: boy crazy, talks like a character in Clueless, wears a weed-shaped pendant close to her heart. Later we’ll pass a Titanic exhibit. She’ll sigh, “Oh Leo.” Lewis would hang out with DiCaprio when they were teens. What did they get up to? “Well…” she giggles.
A mensch never tells. “We played video games at the arcade. Street Fighter.” She played as the character Dhalsim. “The long-legged guy. Never Ken. Ken’s too normal and definitely not Jewish.”
Jenny Lewis: “I feel in control of my craft right now…” As Lewis lets the night guide her, gliding past slot machines lined up like dominoes, she seems unfazed by losing her way or missing her 1am bus call. “This is where I feel most at home. With dirty carpets and a faraway smoke smell. It’s truly formative.
I feel like myself.” Even in moments of joy, her face has a way of falling. It reminds me of her lyric from 2006: “I was born secular and inconsolable.” Like a child, she becomes hopeless when there’s nothing to say. She tuts, hums, shakes her head.
On The Line is a grief album mourning her mother, but began as a grief album mourning a break-up. Lewis and Scottish- American songwriter Johnathan Rice were not married, but together for 12 years and made one album as Jenny And Johnny. Rice’s new LP came out today. Titled The Long Game, it’s about that dissolution.
It includes two songs they co-wrote. Has she listened to it? Her head shakes. “I uh…” Another silence. She takes her time and whispers quietly, “Not today.”
One co-write – Another Cold One – reads like a post break-up song (“It’s bittersweet in the long run/We’re both lost, nobody won”). Again her head shakes. “Often you don’t understand a song till later.” Her break-up was “pretty fresh” when Linda was hospitalised. “Johnathan was there for me”, she says. “I never want to hurt him.” She doesn’t believe in editing herself, though.
“I’ve said before: don’t hang around cannibals if you don’t wanna get eaten. I did not listen to his record today. But his record is fair game. It’s like Fight Club. The number one rule of dating another songwriter is: you can’t say anything about their songs.”
After all, her album contains songs about Rice (“after all we been through, don’t you wanna kiss me?”). After the split, Lewis fled to New York, the first time she’d lived outside LA. Her friend Annie Clark, aka St. Vincent, gave her her apartment. When she was younger she’d dream of NYU (“I never took my SATs”). “I’ve been trying to get out of the Valley since I was 16.” In New York, she realised that wherever you go, there you are. “Kind of a bummer”, she says.
By way of circumstance the songs were the first she’s written alone since Rabbit Fur Coat. She writes “almost every day”. “I feel in control of my craft right now in a way I hadn’t fully felt before”, she says. It contains all of Lewis’s nuances: her ‘60s classicism (Heads Gonna Roll), her blues-y rockers (Red Bull & Hennessy), her balladry (Dogwood). Little White Dove is its centrepiece. An olive branch to her mother on her hospital bed, and a reclamation. “In the middle of love, I’m the little white dove/ I’m the heroine”, she sings. She performs it onstage with a victory strut and a pout.
She recorded the LP with a showstopping group of legends, including Rolling Stones producer Don Was, Beck, and Ringo Starr in Capitol’s Studio A. “He’s so cool”, she says of the Beatle. “Way more relaxed than I was. I’d say, ‘Hello Ringo’, but between my teeth I was like, ‘Oh Jesus Christ!’ I love the fucking Stones. But I’m a Beatles stan.
It’s all I listen to.” The other day she was at AutoZone getting a new car battery. The clerk, an old man from India, was playing The Beatles. They bonded. “He said something so beautiful: ‘Babies love The Beatles.’ It’s true.” She sighs. “The Beatles transcend everything.”
WE’RE NO SPRING CHICKENS BUT WE’VE STILL GOT IT.
Says Lewis about her new which includes highlights…

1. HAPPY

From solo LP Rabbit Fur Coat (2006)
Lewis performs this sad ballad banging two wooden claves. It’s slow and sleepy, like a train pulling into its station, while she waits for contentment to return.

1. SILVER LINING

From Rilo Kiley’s Under The Blacklight (2007)
Rilo Kiley’s final LP was a go-hard-or-gohome effort for the band; a synth-y crossover into mainstream rock. Lewis carries its legacy effortlessly. “Hooray hooray, I’m your silver lining/Hooray hooray, but now I’m gold,” she sings.

1. JUST ONE OF THE GUYS

From solo LP The Voyager (2014)
One of Lewis’s finest: an ode to curating your own rules in a man’s world but eventually hitting a wall.“There’s only one difference between you and me,” she sings.“When I look at myself all I can see/ I’m just another lady without a baby.”

1. RED BULL & HENNESSY

From solo LP On The Line (2019)
There’s a moment in the bridge where Lewis goes full-on Kate Bush. Contains all the drama of Fleetwood Mac, and similarly she’s lived it.

1. WITH ARMS OUTSTRETCHED

From Rilo Kiley’s The Execution Of All Things (2002)
One of Lewis’s most beloved anthems on unrequited love. She cuts the house lights for this, invites a sea of iPhone torches and lets the crowd carry the verses.“And if you want me, you better speak up/ I won’t wait, so you better move fast.”

1. ACID TONGUE

From solo LP Acid Tongue (2008)
A folkier acoustic ballad and one of Lewis’s best stories. She sings about taking solace in sex, drugs and rock’n’roll. “To be lonely is a habit like smoking or taking drugs/And I’ve quit them both but, man, was it rough.”
Performing These Days with Jackson Browne at the Hollywood Palladium;
“No popping, guys!” Lewis is a band freak. Before Rice, before her solo career, came Blake Sennett and Rilo Kiley. Sennett and Lewis wrote songs, played them to room-mates and formed a foursome. They took off in 2001. “It took over my entire life. I was in a relationship with my bandmate, just like my parents. The cycle continued. I had no idea.”
The band survived long after their split. “It sucked!” she says. “It was so hard. You break up, then you see the person the next day and spy on them outside the club like, ‘Are they making out with someone else?’
But I don’t know how to be with someone unless we play music together. I’m away for so long. I wanna hang with my babe.”
You wonder if it’s tough for a prolific, successful female to be with a male songwriter of lesser success. One of Rice’s new lyrics goes: “I always pictured you and me growing old disgracefully/Now I see the club’s sold out and there’s no room for me.”
She makes a pained face. “Yeah, probably not a good idea”, she says, of the question, seeking to keep things sweet. “Johnathan is amazing, and was supportive. It takes a very special person to be able to support a strong woman. It shouldn’t but it does.”
Lewis gravitated towards special men, who lent her their platform. In the 2000s, she was a queen amid a sea of male anti-heroes including Bright Eyes, Modest Mouse and Death Cab For Cutie. She was a “superfan” who studied the back of Death Cab’s Something About Airplanes LP and sent Rilo Kiley’s demos to their label Barsuk. She discovered Bright Eyes from a friend’s mixtape, bought Fevers And Mirrors and listened in the car “crying my fucking eyes out”. She wanted to know Conor Oberst. “Who was this? My soulmate? And he’s super cute? It was fucking Christmas!”
Oberst was the reason she made debut Rabbit Fur Coat, which was the catalyst for Rilo Kiley’s demise. He asked her to make a solo album for then new label Team Love.
“I go, ‘That’s so controversial, I’m in a fucking band. I’m not a solo artist. I’m a band person!’” He insisted. The resulting album – confessional, spooky and gospel-tinged – was a cut above. Soon she was invited to be on Death Cab frontman Ben Gibbard’s side-project The Postal Service, too. “What a lovely gift to pluck me out of a dysfunctional [band]. Without Conor, without Ben… They believed in me and gave me a chance to learn, to step up and just fucking do it.”
Not all have been princes, though. The unmentionable of On The Line’s players is Ryan Adams, who produced briefly. Weeks after the LP was announced, the New York Times ran a story containing allegations of sexual misconduct against Adams employing the voices of ex-wife Mandy Moore, exfiancée Megan Butterworth, artist Phoebe Bridgers and a woman named Ava who was 14 years old at the time of Adams’s alleged abuse. He worked with Lewis in early 2017.
“I was in a relationship with my bandmate, just like my parents. It was so hard. You break up, then you see the person the next day outside the club like, ‘Are they making out with someone else?’ But I don’t know how to be with someone unless we play music together.”
“I was born secular and inconsolable…”: Lewis relaxes at home;
this year’s On The Line album. Lewis looks glum when Adams’s name is mentioned. After the allegations, she tweeted, “I am deeply troubled by Ryan Adams’ alleged behavior [sic]. Although he and I had a working professional relationship, I stand in solidarity with the women who have come forward.” She told Pitchfork she “hates” that he’s on the album. It’s not Lewis who should have to justify her actions.
She doesn’t resent having these conversations. “I get scared when I’m asked about Ryan. Ryan is an important part of the bigger story of my career. We have a deep musical connection. I really appreciate his contributions. Unfortunately I sometimes feel like I can’t say it. However! Bad behaviour is bad behaviour and if you’re fucked up people are gonna find out about it. You have to treat people well. To bring it back to The Beatles, we need to project peace and love. We also need yin and yang. But we can’t accept abusive behaviour.”
The next night at LA’s Palladium, the room brims with Hollywood starriness. The set is the best she’s ever designed. In a moment only a Jenny Lewis can pull off, a perspex phone rings upon a heart-shaped platform onstage. “Oh shit”, she says. She takes the call.
“Jackson Browne?”
She asks. “I’m in the middle of a show right now…” Browne appears. They perform These Days. “Don’t confront me with my failures, I had not forgotten them”, they sing. It’s an interpretation, sure, but Lewis could have written it. Her band ran through it at soundcheck in Vegas yesterday afternoon. Who called Jackson? “I mean I actually dated his son way back”, she said backstage.
Despite her family traumas, Lewis’s inheritance – music – is her greatest ally. “It was the family business. It wasn’t a choice. But music as a job? What a fucking snooze. It’s such a gift to have success in music.
Playing in a Vegas lounge is better than jail, or another boring ass job. It’s like Cass McCombs sang [The Executioner’s Song] – you gotta love your fucking job.” As she moves into a new independent life, she’s trying to take stock more. “I’m so short. I’m five-foot-three-anda- half. I have to remind myself: Look up!”
In 2019, she’s greeted by a new generation as an icon. Her lyrics have become mantras like Buddhism for millennials. “It’s crazy to do something for 20 years, let alone do an OK job”, she says. Bus call looms once more and she sparks up. “You wanna blaze a doob outside, then I’ll shower? There’s an order for things.” Spoken like a true professional.